Thursday, December 31, 2009

Searching the Search Phrases '09

This is the third year I've listed my favorite search phrases to hit There were lots of searches for "Rowan McBride." There were a lot of single word searches like "january" and "book" and (I kid you not) "is" that had me wondering how many pages the surfer had to go through just to get to me, and whether they were happy when they got there. For the first time I saw phrases like "Rowan McBride torrent" pop up which was deeply depressing for me.

But, as with the previous years, there were some that were hella funny. Here are a few of my faves, in no particular order:

  • forbidden fruit rowan mcbride
    Made the list because it tied so well into my previous blog posts.

  • blue curacao sickeningly sweet
    Avery would definitely agree.

  • goodhand abrasive
    Nooo. Good hands are NOT abrasive. I'm not opposed, however, to good hands being a little rough now and then. ;)

  • rowan flow i've never seen muscle growth
    This was an interesting one because it felt like a note direct to me, and that I was supposed to decipher it. So far all I've got is Flow is currently being reworked for possible publication, and that if you've never seen muscle growth you've certainly come to the right place for it if you've hit my site. :)

  • polite please thank you into his ass most likely the best way to go about it.

  • why do i like muscle growth stories
    You would not believe how often I'm asked that very question.

  • on the one hand dolphins are good
    What's on the other hand? O.O

  • my tongue played with his
    His what? Tease. I want to know! Unless it's the previous person's dolphin.

And my favorite search term to hit my site in 2009:

  • toaster said i want you inside of me
    I think it has something to do with the sandwich place commercial that was out a while back, but I don't care. I can't figure out how it resulted in a hit on my site and it cracked me up bad.

That's this year's list. Wow, 2009 has been a year of incredible ups and downs, hasn't it? I wish everyone peace, joy, and love in 2010 (I'm having a bit of a hippie moment here).

Have a Happy New Year!

-- Rowan

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Apple update!

Regarding the candied apple I talked about in my previous post-- it did have caramel and even an apple inside. A green apple, even. Very tart. All and all a good experience that probably took the same number of years off my life as that deviled egg I experimented with a while back.


Monday, December 21, 2009


I bought this on impulse the other day:

apple from hell image

As you can see, this thing is so horrible that the retailers had no choice but to tie it with what I assume to be a spiritual ribbon before sealing it inside a blessed cylinder. My camera kindly recorded the date I bought it right onto the photo. I've not yet worked up the courage to break the seal.

It’s got a chocolate shell studded with pecans. There might be caramel involved somewhere, but I’m not sure. The package would have me believe there’s an apple in there as well.

I have no idea how one goes about consuming such a thing. Apparently it serves 8-10 people, so I’m contemplating having some sort of candy apple party at my place. It would be good to have some friends in on this because (1) almost everything is better with friends and (2)… well…

I don’t really like apples.

It always jars me to admit that because from day to day I walk around thinking I like apples, and this delusion inevitably leads me to making purchases like the one above.

But I’m not that big a fan. Can’t stand apple juice. Not keen on apple pie unless it’s a small slice and it’s mostly crust. I make a little “yuck face” every time someone mentions apple sauce. Hard apple cider I can do if the occasion’s right. That’s about it.

Even plain, healthy apples give me trouble. I don’t like red apples and I don’t like sweet apples. If I’m going to eat an apple it’s got to be green and tart and sliced into wedges.

Apple issues. That’s what I’ve got.

Yet I adore the imagery, so much. It’s not even the “forbidden fruit” aspect that hooks me (although I DO like it and I’ve used it in that context). The fruit from the tree of knowledge that Adam & Eve took a bite out of was never actually called an apple. I like that if you cut an apple in half you get five seeds and those five seeds can stand for anything from the elements (fire, water, earth, air, soul) to the body of a person (head, hands, feet) to a simple five pointed star. I love that in DeathNote the shinigami actually find them addictive, and that Ryuk in particular calls them “jooshy.”

Even that great sound an apple makes when someone bites into it. There's something savage about that sound. I especially like it when a person buffs the apple on their shirt and then tears a chunk out of it--lure the prey in with a false sense of comfort and go in for the kill.

Apple torture. Just further highlights the issues I mentioned above.

And while I won’t eat a red apple, my characters sure as hell will, because to me red feels more seductive, more lush. If vampires didn’t drink blood, they’d probably eat red apples instead.*

Apple pie does a similar thing to me. I don’t like to eat it, but thinking about it elicits images of hearth and home. Of cold winter nights and warm fires.

Most of my stories make an apple reference in them somewhere. I think Paul’s Dream and Want Me are the only ones that don’t, although someone recently mentioned they think I’m wrong on that. If you know for sure there’s an apple reference in either of those books, be the first to paste the quote on this thread in the comments and I’ll send you an 8x10 glossy of that book cover. :)

So there you have it. My first post about apples. I should file it with the post I did a while back about shoes. Sometimes I’m really, really glad that “ramblings” is right there in the title of this blog to warn people of what lies ahead.

I’ll let you know if the giant piece of candied whatever above changes my mind about apples. :)

*Note: I hope I didn’t turn anyone off of red apples with the vampire analogy. I do not believe that red apples taste in any way like blood.**

**Note#2: But you gotta admit, vampire fangs are probably pretty handy when tearing into an apple. :D

Pepero winner chosen.

The winner of the giant box of Pepero featured in my previous blog post is Bookheart, who entered the random drawing via the MySpace portal. Please drop an email with your name and snail-mail address to (mcbride_rowan at yahoo dot com).

Thank you to everyone who entered my accidental contest!

Maybe we should make it a yearly thing?

Monday, December 14, 2009

Giant Freaking Pepero

November 11th is Pepero Day in South Korea. It's a lot like Valentine's Day in that people will exchange gifts and/or candy with their crushes and loved ones, especially Pepero because the date of 11/11 resembles the chocolate covered cookie sticks.

November was a crazy month for me, so the 11th came and went with barely a thought. Someone mentioned it on twitter--I mentioned it back and let it slip my mind. Then a few days ago I got to stop by a local Korean grocery and saw an entire shelf of special edition Pepero. Here's a snapshot of some of the boxes I ended up bringing home:


The box of Nude Pepero I already had--just figured I'd put it there so you could get an idea of how big the giant Pepero is in comparison. ;)

The stuff in the picture is nowhere near close to the amount of stuff I actually bought. What am I going to do with it all? No idea, but it's mine for now, dammit, and I'm happy every time I look at it.

Happy Belated Pepero Day. :D

ETA: I made a mistake about mentioning a contest here on twitter. I don't know where my mind was. But hell, it's still a good idea. So, if you make a comment before, hmmm, the 21st of December, I'll pick a poster at random and send you one of these giant freaking boxes of Pepero. How's that? :D

Friday, December 4, 2009

Feed the Fetish -- Kemonomimi

Animal ears and tails. I don't know why it can be so hot, but I'm there.

::XDOWN-morning:: by =rannsama on deviantART

I think this is an original character by rannsama, so I don't really know who he is. I just know that he's planning something diabolical.


IYD Doodle Colored by *XxChiChixX on deviantART

Maybe it's because I watched DBZ faithfully every week as a child and almost never watched it in my teen and adult years, but I can't help but think that innocent hug is gonna lead to someone's death in a minute.

Soubi and Seimei by ~MarluxiaVI on deviantART

Ah, Seimei. In Loveless, the cat ears broadcast to the world the fact that you're innocent. Soubi knows better, but still obeys him, which is probably why he's seething there in the background. lol.


Youko Kurama by ~Xx333xX on deviantART

I had to include Youko-sama. He was my, um, first regarding the ears. :D

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Wishful Thinking - Self Portrait

I always wonder what people think of me the first time they meet me in real life. I've had fans believe to the core of their being that I'm one or another of my characters, and that can be intimidating because they never pick the ones that are messes (Ace, Nick). They always seem to think I'm Paul or Charlie (Paul's Dream, Flow). It doesn't help that every once in a while I do have a moment of bonafide cool, but said moments usually cost me mad cool points and I have to spend weeks, even months recouping.

At any rate, I drew a rough comic depicting how I'd like to be and how I am. Sort of. Posting it below. :)

Wishful Thinking by ~rpm77 on deviantART


Note: For those who didn't get a chance to read it, "Flow" is a story that was originally up at the Evolution Forum. I've since taken it down because, pending massive rewrites, I've gotten permission to submit the story to a publisher. While I'm daunted by the prospect of writing what will essentially be a whole new book, I'm also wicked excited. :D