Saturday, December 31, 2011

Searchin’ the Search Phrases: 2011

Every year, I go through the search phrases that resulted in a hit on my site and I pick a few of the odd/funny/kickass ones to post here. This year I made it into a contest, so if you entered be sure to scroll to the bottom to see if you won. ;)

Lots of searches for my name this year, which is a good thing. It was often misspelled, which is also a good thing for reasons I explained in the 2010 post. One was spelled so wrong (ryouen mvbraid) that I’m fully convinced that person was looking for someone else entirely. Lol.

The site got six hits with “homepage” which baffles me. How many pages do you have to scroll through to get to my place with that single word? Not five, I know that for sure. O.O

Reading the year’s list was interesting. A lot of searches for particular stories, and the interest was spread fairly even among them, which makes me glad. I figure it means I’m doing something right.

Anyway, without further ado, in no particular order, listed below are some of my favorite search phrases from 2011:

  • atari muscles growth
    Whatever this game is, I want it. Bad.

  • bishie vs muscle
    It seems like it’d be no contest, but don’t underestimate the power of sparkles.

  • davey s destiny finished?
    *headdesk* Working on it.

  • clean muscle growth fiction
    Pfft. Who wants that? {ducks from Davey's Destiny fans}

  • read flow by rowan mcbride
    I absolutely agree with this. Hopefully it’ll be available again once I rewrite it and send it to my publisher...

  • always wait is best so just wait i ll be right back
    Okay. I’ll just sit here quietly, then.

  • rowan mcrainbow
    {gasp} Dude, I should change my name to that.

  • hermione muscle growth story fiction
    No. Just... no.

  • what can you do with one good hand
    Lots of stuff! Ace can totally fill you in on that.

  • quotes about a good poker hand with aces
    {snerk} Dirty thoughts.

  • wet suck lick moan thrust unbutton hard
    Wow, I’m a little hot under the collar just reading that search phrase. Let me know if you find the story you’re looking for. XD

  • biceps sit ups sweat bastard sargent exercise novel excerpt
    That sounds hardcore. And kind of scary.

  • short story about my tastes in music
    Let me know what your tastes are and I’ll see what I can do. :)

  • when is rowan mcbride releasing a new book
    Pretty good chance there’ll be a new one out January 18th. :-D

And my favorite out of the non-contest entries:

  • beekeeper muscle stories
    I don’t know. I just keep imagining some dude getting stung by a bee and packing on muscle so fast that he bursts right out of his beekeeper suit. Which, of course, opens him up to being stung by more bees. :)

My contest favorite?
  • fucking good kick Thumper poetry

Submitted by AS.

Hilarious, right? A first page result, even. ;)

I chose it because it was so random that when I read it the first time I had to, well, read it a second time.

Congrats to AS and thank you to everyone who entered. You guys made for some interesting emails in December!

I hope your 2012 is also interesting, as well as fun and safe.

Take care,

-- Rowan

Friday, December 9, 2011

My phone is a ninja...

I could be holding the sucker in my hand only to find it gone a second later. Below are some of the places I've found it.

  • In the couch

  • Under the couch

  • Behind the couch

  • In the garage.

  • Inside a Yu-Gi-Oh! sneaker

  • Teetering on the brink of a hotel bedpost

  • In the pantry.

  • Stuck in the middle of a Jenga tower (because my brother is evil).

  • On top of a pile of salt.

  • In the fridge, next to the milk.

  • Inside the VCR (I suspect my three year old niece had a hand in this one but I have no proof).

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Let's Play With Search Engines

I want to try a little experiment.

At the end of every year I post a "Searchin' the Search Phrases" list containing my favorite key word phrases that have resulted in a hit on my site during that year. This time I'd like to make it more...interactive.

So here's the thing. Come up with a creative search phrase about me, my stories, muscle growth, etc. and type it into an engine like Google or Bing. If my site comes up (the one at, not this blog), click on the link. Clicking is important--it has to actually result in a hit so I can see the genius you have wrought in my stats aggregator. Then email your phrase to (mcbride_rowan at yahoo dot com) with "Search Phrase Contest" in the subject line. At the end of this month I'll post my usual list, but I'll also post my favorite fan-generated phrase.

That fan gets a free copy of the new book on release day. Which will be in mid-January. Ish.

Sound fun? Let's play.

Edit: Forgot to mention that you can enter as many times as you want. XD