Rowan's Ramblings

It's simple math, really.

2012-01-26T00:01:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I storyboard. I take a pack of index cards, write down all the scenes that are jumbled together in my mind (one scene per card), and lay them out on the carpet. This way, I can see if the storyline and character arc makes sense. I like storyboarding more than outlining because I feel as if I have more leeway to add scenes, delete scenes, and shuffle stuff around (this advantage, of course, is all in my head because cut & paste lets me do all of that on the computer). It's a way of getting organized that works for me.

Below is one of the cards from a novella I just finished:

Recognize those names? ;)

On heroes, villains, and what I can get away with.

2012-01-20T00:01:00.001-06:00

A while back I got a rejection letter (I know, shocker, right?). It was nice as far as rejection letters go. Said my writing skills were tight. The story itself was too dark, though. I know this because the word ‘dark’ was used five times in two paragraphs.

It made me realize that I’m not so good at telling my heroes from my antiheroes from my villains, and that this could actually be a problem.

Sometimes I don’t cross a line by much and an editor will tell me how to revise. In the original manuscript of One Shot, Riley was much scarier than he is in the published version. When I made him nicer I made the mistake of not toughening up Nick by a proportional amount, but Nick’s still a little hottie in my book so that’s okay.

Walker Cain from Want Me, however, didn't get dialed down at all. For good or ill, it was one of the reasons I chose to self-publish. It meant I could go crazy with the storyline. I got to write a character who literally had no concept of right and wrong, not even as other people saw it. He wanted. He took. That was his life. Unfortunately what he wanted most was Joel, and the spiral they were thrown into as a result turned out to be razor sharp and painful for both of them.

Ahh, how I loved that book.

Still, there was an element of likability to Walker. Partly because he just didn't know any better. Innocence born from madness.

Draven Donnor is not mad. He knows exactly what he's doing. And he knows that almost everything he does is not right by human standards. So that would make him a villain, yeah? Except that he's not human. He has a moral code, but it's a product of who he is, of a culture very different than ours. And when it comes to Cody, he's all about loving, he's all about protecting, he's all about getting closer. So he's got flaws, but he also has one really, really good trait. Maybe that makes him an antihero. But…

When he becomes an assassin, he finds that he enjoys his job. That never changes. No angst. No crisis of conscience. Plus at the beginning of the story he steals from Cody. His best friend. Which brings us back into villain territory. On the other hand, from his perspective he is a natural, right being, rightly doing what comes naturally to him. Then again, most villains think the same thing about themselves, meaning Antihero Upgrade denied.

As you can see, I’m not entirely certain how I should feel about my newest character. But I feel for him all the same. He is Draven and I love him. Just like I love Walker. Just like all those psychotic characters I adore so much in anime. (I’m looking at you, Akabane.)

This says something serious about my psyche. I've yet to figure out what, exactly. As the writer of such stories, am I the hero or the villain? Maybe I’m trying to write the best story possible with a concept that’s always intrigued me, and maybe I hope Just Perfect catches on and its popularity will let me write more of it. Some of the stories I'd like to tell are cool and dark and possibly twisted. And I believe they belong on the shelf right next to my fluffy stories, because I love fluffy too.

Perhaps my ultimate goal is to bring balance to my backlist. That’s a worthy aspiration, even if the road is five times as dark.

Does that mean I'm the antihero?

Or am I just a writer with wicked thoughts, trying to see what xe can get away with?

Just Perfect Release Day

2012-01-17T23:31:00.003-06:00

My new novella, Drayner Series #1 - Just Perfect, is officially available from Torquere Press.

I hope you like it. ;)

Blurb:

Three years ago, Draven was forced to leave behind his human best friend to become a Drayner Assassin. Cody knew nothing of Draven's ability to steal a person's physical attributes by touch, and the Drayner intends to keep it that way when he returns to Maryland. Remembering the innocent, flawless human he left behind, he looks forward to rekindling his relationship with his friend.

He's taken aback to find Cody a different man, and Draven is stunned by his own attraction to a harder, more brilliant kind of perfection. But getting close to the human is not easy—Draven has more secrets than ever. Like that day, all those years ago…

When he used his magic to steal from Cody.

X’s and Bios

2012-01-13T00:14:00.005-06:00

I’ve written and rewritten this post so many times over the last few months. The drafts ranged from Dramatic Announcement to Flippant Lines to Absolutely Nonsensical. I knew what I wanted to say—just couldn’t figure out how to say it. But writing is all about drafts, so let’s give it another try:

It’s nothing big in the grand scheme of things. Just decided to use gender-neutral pronouns in my author biographies. I prefer them over “he” or “she” in reference to myself, and I complain a lot that I hardly ever see them used. I say I don’t use them because most people don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, and because there’s no standardized system for gender-neutral pronouns in America and Why does America suck so bad?!

Around then is when I realized I might be part of the problem, because if I don’t use them, then how the hell are the people around me supposed to become familiar with them?

So I’m going to use them now. In my author bios, as well as during those odd times when I think it’s a good idea to talk about myself in the third person. I don’t think it’ll change anyone else’s lives in any significant way, but it’ll change my life, and that’s what I’m going for.

Now, there is one advantage to having no standardized system for gender-neutral pronouns in America. It means I still have time to put in my vote, and I’m going with the X-set:

Xe, Xem, Xyr, Xyrs, Xemself

The “X” in these has the same sound as the “X” in xylophone.

The Sie/Hir set is probably more common, and I’ve used it online on several occasions. Using them can be an interesting study in perception because in my experience most people will assume I’ve made a typo and will correct it for me. So “Hir” is often reflected back at me as “His” or “Her” depending on the person reading it. It’s kinda cool from a sociological standpoint.

But I’m also a writer, and I’d rather not have people thinking I make that many typos. :-D

With the X-set, it’s pretty obvious that I’m deliberately spelling the words that way. Plus it fits well with “Mx.” in place of “Mr./Ms./Mrs./Miss” and I absolutely believe that “Mx.” should be an option on every form that feels it requires that sort of information. And, come on, X’s are cool.

I went through a phase (that I’m likely still going through) where I tried on all sorts of pronouns, looking for a set that fit me. I don’t mind He/She. I tend to joke that since I’m gender fluid, chances are one of those is right some of the time. The Sie/Ze/En sets made me feel more…settled. But the X set is, by far, my favorite, and it’s my bio. So, by definition, it’s all about me, yeah? ;)

If you’re interested, I’m posting the revised bio below. It's nothing in the grand scheme of things, but it's changed my life for the better.

Born an Air Force dependent, Rowan McBride traveled the world and totally missed the 80’s as most Americans know it. In exchange, xe’s gotten to walk in clogs, break an arm at Mt. Fuji, and say prayers at a Korean Buddhist temple. So far it seems like a fair trade. Although xe graduated from high school in Hawaii, xe didn’t learn to hula and make leis until going to college in Iowa. After leaving the Midwest, xe moved to Washington, DC and very nearly got xemself a Juris Doctor degree. Now xe’s chilling out in Texas, diabolically planning road trips that could span years.

People say xyr life is random, and that’s probably true. Rowan comforts xemself with the working theory that a random life makes for good stories. When that doesn’t work, there’s Pocky. Lots and lots of Pocky.

Excerpt: Just Perfect

2012-01-09T17:23:00.003-06:00

Excerpt: Just Perfect

Rowan McBride

Available January 18th from Torquere Press :)

Flagging down a taxi was easy enough. I settled him inside and climbed in after. "Cody, tell the cabbie your address."

He turned his head, his cheeks flushed with liquor. "You're coming home with me?""Yeah," I said, keeping my gaze fixed on the seat in front of me.

Cody chuckled and told the driver his address.

"What's so funny?"

"I don't know," he said, his shoulders shaking. "I just feel like laughing."

I glanced at him, taking in that smooth, flawless skin. "For a second there I didn't think you'd ever laugh around me again. Not like that."

"Back in the bar..." He rubbed at the tears forming in his eyes. "It felt like you were coming to my rescue. Like old times." He focused on me, his gaze going from playful to piercing and back again. "Silly, huh?"

I'd never seen eyes like that. "I don't think it is."

He curled his legs into the seat, tucked his arm under his head. "I think I'm drunk."

"I think you are too." But hell if it wasn't adorable.

Cody went quiet, staring at me. I tried not to squirm under the attention, but damn. He didn't say another word until we'd arrived at his apartment complex.

He fumbled for his wallet and I stayed his hand. "I've got the cash; don't worry."

His arm fell to the side. I paid the cabbie and scooped Cody into my arms, lifting him out of the taxi and surveying the complex.

Cody laughed. "This is just like when I twisted my ankle and you carried me to the nurse's office. Remember that?"

I smiled down at him, held him a little closer. "I remember you begged me to put you down the whole way there. Is that what you want now?"

"Nah." He waved his hand, like he was trying to sweep the question out of the air. "It's late. Doubt anyone'll see us this time around."

This time around. Hopefully that meant I had a second chance in more ways than one. "Where to?"

He flung his arm out and pointed to our right.

I carried him to the building and through the lobby. We rode the elevator to the seventh floor, and he threw his arm to the left.

"It's number 706," he said lightly.

When I stopped in front of his door, he wriggled his way out of my arms.

Shit, his body felt good.

Cody fumbled for his keys, managed to get the door open. I helped him inside and closed it behind us.

His knees buckled and I hooked an arm around his waist, holding him against me.

"Thanks," he said, smiling again.

The breath skittered in my chest. I'd never been dazzled by a smile before. "Any time."

"So this is my place," he said, gesturing to the studio apartment before sliding his palms up my arms. His head fell onto my shoulder. "You smell like fresh-tilled earth." He chuckled into my shirt. "Shit, I really am drunk."

My body tensed--could he smell the death around me? Was he saying I smelled like a grave?

"Hard as a rock," he murmured. "Just like I remember."

I groaned, unable to take it anymore as I tipped him backward. "Cody," I said, getting brave because he was drunk, "what kind of guys are you in to?"

He laughed and thrust his hand into my hair. "I like them tall and dark." He gave my head a hard tug. "I like them to have all the muscle I could never pack on to my own body."

My lips parted.

His gaze dipped to my mouth, and he lifted his other hand to brush a thumb against it. "Draven Donnor," he murmured, all humor draining away. "My first crush."

Learn more about Just Perfect at www.RowanMcBride.com.

A Just Perfect Cover

2012-01-04T19:42:00.008-06:00

There are so many horrible horrible ways to work the title of my latest novella into a sentence, and you will quite possibly see me use every single one of them eventually. For that, I apologize in advance. But there is a bright side. My brand new cover, for instance!

Snazzy, yeah? And you’ll be able to get both the cover and the story from Torquere Press on January 18th, 2012. :)

Searchin’ the Search Phrases: 2011

2011-12-31T20:24:00.004-06:00

Every year, I go through the search phrases that resulted in a hit on my site and I pick a few of the odd/funny/kickass ones to post here. This year I made it into a contest, so if you entered be sure to scroll to the bottom to see if you won. ;)

Lots of searches for my name this year, which is a good thing. It was often misspelled, which is also a good thing for reasons I explained in the 2010 post. One was spelled so wrong (ryouen mvbraid) that I’m fully convinced that person was looking for someone else entirely. Lol.

The site got six hits with “homepage” which baffles me. How many pages do you have to scroll through to get to my place with that single word? Not five, I know that for sure. O.O

Reading the year’s list was interesting. A lot of searches for particular stories, and the interest was spread fairly even among them, which makes me glad. I figure it means I’m doing something right.

Anyway, without further ado, in no particular order, listed below are some of my favorite search phrases from 2011:

atari muscles growth
Whatever this game is, I want it. Bad.

bishie vs muscle
It seems like it’d be no contest, but don’t underestimate the power of sparkles.

davey s destiny finished?
*headdesk* Working on it.

clean muscle growth fiction
Pfft. Who wants that? {ducks from Davey's Destiny fans}

read flow by rowan mcbride
I absolutely agree with this. Hopefully it’ll be available again once I rewrite it and send it to my publisher...

always wait is best so just wait i ll be right back
Okay. I’ll just sit here quietly, then.

rowan mcrainbow
{gasp} Dude, I should change my name to that.

hermione muscle growth story fiction
No. Just... no.

what can you do with one good hand
Lots of stuff! Ace can totally fill you in on that.

quotes about a good poker hand with aces
{snerk} Dirty thoughts.

wet suck lick moan thrust unbutton hard
Wow, I’m a little hot under the collar just reading that search phrase. Let me know if you find the story you’re looking for. XD

biceps sit ups sweat bastard sargent exercise novel excerpt
That sounds hardcore. And kind of scary.

short story about my tastes in music
Let me know what your tastes are and I’ll see what I can do. :)

when is rowan mcbride releasing a new book
Pretty good chance there’ll be a new one out January 18th. :-D

And my favorite out of the non-contest entries:

beekeeper muscle stories
I don’t know. I just keep imagining some dude getting stung by a bee and packing on muscle so fast that he bursts right out of his beekeeper suit. Which, of course, opens him up to being stung by more bees. :)

My contest favorite?

fucking good kick Thumper poetry

Submitted by AS.

Hilarious, right? A first page result, even. ;)

I chose it because it was so random that when I read it the first time I had to, well, read it a second time.

Congrats to AS and thank you to everyone who entered. You guys made for some interesting emails in December!

I hope your 2012 is also interesting, as well as fun and safe.

Take care,

-- Rowan

My phone is a ninja...

2011-12-09T13:20:00.000-06:00

I could be holding the sucker in my hand only to find it gone a second later. Below are some of the places I've found it.

In the couch

Under the couch

Behind the couch

In the garage.

Inside a Yu-Gi-Oh! sneaker

Teetering on the brink of a hotel bedpost

In the pantry.

Stuck in the middle of a Jenga tower (because my brother is evil).

On top of a pile of salt.

In the fridge, next to the milk.

Inside the VCR (I suspect my three year old niece had a hand in this one but I have no proof).

Let's Play With Search Engines

2011-12-01T04:54:00.008-06:00

I want to try a little experiment.

At the end of every year I post a "Searchin' the Search Phrases" list containing my favorite key word phrases that have resulted in a hit on my site during that year. This time I'd like to make it more...interactive.

So here's the thing. Come up with a creative search phrase about me, my stories, muscle growth, etc. and type it into an engine like Google or Bing. If my site comes up (the one at www.RowanMcBride.com, not this blog), click on the link. Clicking is important--it has to actually result in a hit so I can see the genius you have wrought in my stats aggregator. Then email your phrase to mcbride_rowan@yahoo.com (mcbride_rowan at yahoo dot com) with "Search Phrase Contest" in the subject line. At the end of this month I'll post my usual list, but I'll also post my favorite fan-generated phrase.

That fan gets a free copy of the new book on release day. Which will be in mid-January. Ish.

Sound fun? Let's play.

Edit: Forgot to mention that you can enter as many times as you want. XD

Pepero Winners

2011-11-12T02:23:00.003-06:00

The winners from the Pepero drawing of yesterday are Victoria (chocolate) and Teddy (strawberry). Please drop me a line at mcbride_rowan@yahoo.com with your snail mail addresses. :)

Congrats! And thank you to everyone who participated!

A Just Perfect Pepero Day

2011-11-11T00:01:00.002-06:00

I'm backsliding into terrible title territory. And rampant alliteration, apparently. Still, I don’t think it’s as bad as Recharging with My Einstein Hair or Down with OTP (yeah you know me).

Ahem. Anyway.

I have news! And salutations! And prizes!

News: Just Perfect is tentatively slated for release in January 2012 from Torquere Press. W00t!

Salutations: Happy Pepero Day! This is a Valentine-like holiday celebrated in South Korea where candy is given to friends and loved ones. Pepero is usually the gift of choice, because Pepero comes in the form of delicious sticks of goodness and the sticks resemble elevens. Hence the November 11th date. And this year is particularly cool because it’s 11-11-11. In Japan it’s Pocky Day for the same reasons, although I hear the holiday itself is not as popular there.

Prizes: See these cylinders of heaven pictured below?

Yeah, giving them away. All you have to do is comment on this blog post any time today (11.11.11, Central Standard Time) and tell me which one you'd prefer. I’ll pick two names at random. One lucky person will win the strawberry Pepero, and one lucky person will win the dark chocolate Pepero.

Winners will be announced 11.12.11, so be sure to check back here to see if you've got yourself a cylinder.

Happy Pepero Day!

It's also Veterans Day but I'm always unsure how to go about observing that one. My dad and brother are both vets and sometimes it seems wildly out of place to say "Happy Veterans Day." So I'll just say thank you to all those who've served their country. You've made tremendous sacrifices on our behalf, and I am humbled by your courage.

Yaoi-Con 2011 Write-Up (Part 1 of 3)

2011-11-04T00:01:00.006-05:00

Bad Decisions, Good Friends, and Gold Label Tequila

Ahhh. Back from Yaoi-Con. So much to report and I don’t want to make the same mistake I did last year (posting my 2010 pics the week before leaving for the 2011 con) so I’m breaking my convention post into three manageable parts.

Part one starts with day one which was filled with liquor. So. Much. Liquor. I arrived on Thursday and had a tall B-52 with T.C. Blue. We had dinner—for me it was oysters and a martini. There may have been fries involved. T.C. gave me some wicked business cards:

It sorta gets fuzzy after that. I’m a bit of a weird lush in that I’ll get drunk off a bottle of beer but I can do several shots and still be fairly steady, so when I’m in public I tend to just do hard liquor. This was probably not the best decision, but I do remember being happy and friendly. I got to meet Clare London, Andrew Grey, Mary Calmes, and a circle of other authors that first night. Hopefully they remember me being happy and friendly as well. I traded cards with Mary:

She’s a Samurai Champloo fan which gives her instant cool cred.

No hangover Friday. I’m told that’s a miracle, but I’ve never had one so I have no comparison. Although to be safe, I didn’t have any more alcohol till my last night in San Francisco. It was absinthe. XD

Back to Friday—registered for the con without mishap. Saturday I got to have dinner with some cool comic book kids:

Alex is a friend I met last year. He is the man of a thousand cards and if you’re not reading his web comic Artifice, why aren’t you? It’s freaking made of awesome.

Met the Category3 Circle for the first time this year. Their comics are brand new-to-me and I bought their Close to you anthology (which includes the story Dentente) at the con. It’s much fun.

I also got to talk with About.com Manga blogger Deb Aoki. And after the convention I crashed on Jen LeBlanc’s floor. Jen LeBlanc is the editor of Viz’s new Boys’ Love imprint SuBLime Manga. SuBLime's first titles are coming out in December and they are sweet.

Perks of the floor? I got to molest piles of manga. And I got to visit Viz Media. AKA heaven.

So that’s Part One of my convention report. Loved collecting everyone’s cards and loved sharing them here. Had a blast chatting up old friends and meeting new ones. I got a bunch of them to take the seme/uke test at http://semeuke.com and one of them came up "Chibi Seme" which I had never heard of before. I'm an "Opportunistic Seme" in case you were wondering and never saw that bit of info back in the day on my MySpace page. And yeah. Pretty much as bad as it sounds. ;)

This is just off the top of my head. Did not even come close to listing everyone I ran into. This is why if you see me you need to give me your card. Not only do I adore collecting them, but I tend to choke during the write-ups. XD

Next:
Part two: Stuff
Part three: Cosplay

Ah, the horror.

2011-10-30T22:55:00.006-05:00

I was just starting fourth grade when I saw my first Freddy Krueger movie. Nightmare on Elmstreet 3: Dream Warriors. It freaked me out bad. Prior to that all my monsters had clear and specific ways to defeat them and in my head these things seemed doable should I ever find myself in trouble. Werewolves and silver? Check. Vampires and stakes through the heart/sunlight? Check and check. Mummies? Find the loose bandage and unwrap that sucker. Check. (At the time this was Flawless Logic.) I wouldn’t be introduced to zombies till the following year, so we were good to go.

Until Freddy Krueger. Because you can’t fight sleep.

Sure, some of the characters won out in the end. But then there’d be a sequel and they all went down eventually. Even Nancy.

These days not a lot of movies scare me. I do remember having a full-on WTF when it turned out the zombies in the Dawn of the Dead remake could run at top speed. That sure as hell wasn’t in my Zombie Survival Guide. But once it was over, it was over. It didn’t keep me up at night or anything.

Still, every so often I’ll stumble across something that turns me right back into that little kid staring wide-eyed at the screen watching a knife-gloved man tearing through the dreams of innocent people while they slept.

The topiary scene in the book version of The Shining. The whole damned “Blink” episode in Doctor Who. That split second revelation while I watched In the Mouth of Madness for the first time. I think what gets to me is the loss of control and total inability to save myself from it. How can I be sure that sound is just leaves in the wind? How do I not blink? What do you mean I’m already there?

In most horror stories, if you’re fast enough/strong enough/smart enough then there’s a chance you can wrest control of your own fate. The ones that get to me most are the ones where that’s not even an option.

Which begs the question: Why the hell did I write Want Me? Joel loses all control of self and fate when Walker invokes his spell in chapter one. And every turn of the spiral slices that loss deeper.

The story scared the bejeezus out of me while I was writing it. When it was first released I put a warning on all my portals that it was a dark, dark book. I was sure it was going to freak everyone out.

One of the first fan-letters I received said something to the effect of “Read your book. With the way you were talking I was expecting mountains of corpses or something, though.” So my definition of scary is certainly not universal.

When people ask about Want Me, I never call it a Romance. Usually I refer to it as Erotic Horror and I’m somewhat alarmed when a reader tells me it’s the first book of mine they’ve picked up. What a first impression to make. But for the most part they seem to have been good impressions.

What Romantic/Erotic Horror stories have made good impressions on you? Which ones had scenes that stuck with you weeks, months, years later? Anything scaring you this Halloween? ;)

Just a Reminder

2011-10-20T12:35:00.003-05:00

Heading off for San Francisco today. YaoiCon should be a blast. Hope to see you there!

PS-- Not doing the "Where's Rowan" hide-and-seek this time. But I am bringing the hat, so if you want to meet up, drop me a line on twitter, here, etc, and I'll be sure to have it on me so that I'm recognizable. :)

Tango

2011-10-18T00:12:00.006-05:00

Thanks to The Yaoi Review for sending me this vid. Precision is so sexy. The hot guys in well-tailored suits help too.

For more information on the art of him-and-him tango, you can go to: http://www.verytango.com/tango-men.html.

Goin' to Yaoi-Con 2011!

2011-10-07T22:56:00.004-05:00

October 21st through 23rd I’ll be at Yaoi-Con in San Francisco! W00t! It’s really short notice but I only found out last week that I would be able to go, then this week my mother ended up in surgery and I ended up in the emergency room for completely unrelated reasons, so things have been a little crazy. After I finish writing up this post I fully intend to stare up at my ceiling fan and listen to Enya for at least an hour.

Are any of you guys going? I’m not sure if I’ll be playing Where’s Rowan this year—Would you be interested in playing again? If so, I might also do an online version this time around where you can look for me via twitter. I’m not sure. It depends on how I feel after Enya stops playing. ;)

In celebration of my trip to Yaoi-Con 2011, I’m posting a few pics from Yaoi-Con 2010, which I never got around to posting because my SD card got corrupted and I lost most of my images. It depressed me, yada yada yada. But some good ones survived, and here are three:

A friend and I won a bishie in an auction. Here he is in his in all his Ichigo hawtness posing with Alex Woolfson, another friend of mine and writer of a fab webcomic called Artifice.

I don't know who they are, but I love the hell out of butterflies.

Cutest. Frog. Ever.
In my head all I could hear was "Kero Kero Keroppi."

So that's three snapshots of last year's Yaoi-Con. If you'd like to see more, check out my flikr account at http://flic.kr/s/aHsjwifMdr. Feel free to leave comments there, and let me know here if you're going to the con!

Wrote a book! Signed a contract!

2011-09-27T19:52:00.004-05:00

It’s called Just Perfect, and it’s going to be published by Torquere Press. I can’t share a lot of details yet, but you can read the blurb as well as a short rambling about the story by me at: http://www.rowanmcbride.com/stories/drayners/justperfect/. Right now you can’t actually get to that page from anywhere on my site—the link I just posted is one of two access points to it. The first was posted on my newsletter back on Friday, which is one of the perks of being on the mailing list. ;)

Just Perfect is the (hopefully) first in my Drayner series. Unless you happened to catch my now out-of-print short story Just Wait back in 2007, then for you it’s a prequel. Although Just Wait may or may not still be an official part of the series anymore. It’s complicated. There were twins involved. Sexy, scary twins.

But hey, my first book in two years. And it’s all...dark and twisty and such. Should be good times whatever happens, yeah?

Names and Master Plans

2011-08-18T20:33:00.003-05:00

This post is probably going to be even more ramble-y than my usual, so there’s that.

I started a story recently where I changed the name of the main character three times. That never happens to me. In a best case scenario, when I imagine a character for the first time he already has a name attached. In other, less desirable situations, I spend hours—sometimes days—going through my baby name book, name websites, and scrolling through my television menu for random actor names until I find something that fits, dammit. But something always does, even if I have to eventually make it up. The name captures the person.

Until this new guy. He started out as a Dan, then as a Ray, and currently he is Neil. At the moment I’m not entirely sure I think his name is Neil. It’s really disconcerting. I can’t even start a story unless I know who the main characters are, and here I have one and I can’t pin down his name. I feel like I’m writing about a ghost. Which I’m not.

Then come the repeats. I’m not sure what the writer etiquette is on that. I have a Michael in Michael Finally Grows Up (which was updated late last month—yeah!), but I also have a Michael you’ve never met, in a sequel that I promise I’m working on slowly but surely. In this case I don’t think it’s so bad because MFGU is a free serial and in a different category from the novel I’m working on. Separation challenge: Easy.

Things get murkier when the stories are both books. Jesse Winter is still my favorite character I’ve created, but a few days ago this new idea popped up in my head, along with a brand new character whose name was…Jesse. I figured I had to change it, but Derek—the love interest—calls him Jess and how hot is that? Keith never called his Jesse Jess. Of course, Derek is the name of this guy I’d had planned for a fairy tale down the road…

*headcramp*

I’ve lost count of how many idea files I have on my hard drive. How many “chapter ones” I intend to spin out into fully realized tales. I also have a spreadsheet to keep track of all the names, to help keep my myriad of master plans and distinct worlds from colliding with each other. And yet I have two Michaels, two Jesses, and a dude who may or may not be a Neil.

Sometimes I wonder why I put so much effort into names, anyway. Would the content of my stories be that much different if I named half my characters Bob? Then I take Jesse from Warm Rush, and try to imagine him as, oh I don’t know, a Duke or something, and that really doesn’t seem like it could work. But Duke from G.I. Joe? What other name could he have? Also—hot.

This new Jesse? I’ve tried retro-fitting him with different names. Nothing works so far. I think about books I’ve read by authors I love and I have to admit, unless it’s the same universe, I don’t pay attention to names (or similarities, or repeats) from one series to another. But then I’m freakishly bad with names (hence the spreadsheet mentioned above to help me remember my own characters) so I’m most likely not the best sampling here.

What do you think? Is it confusing when an author has two characters with similar names, even if the story worlds never overlap? Or does the fact that I have around 250 names used (as in seen in a published/posted story) or on reserve (as in featured in one of my many “chapter ones”) in my spreadsheet make it a big enough pool that I can use a couple of them more than once?

And Neil, or whatever the hell his name'll be by the end. Still no idea what to do about him. Maybe he'd work as a Bob...

So much for master plans. >.<

Michael Finally Grows Up - Comments Section

2011-07-28T04:47:00.004-05:00

Story Blurb:

When up-and-coming artist Avery Scott spots a shy wallflower at a party, he just can't seem to help himself-- he brings him home. Michael's sexual hungers tread on the kinky side, even by Avery's standards, but Avery is more than capable of giving him what he needs. Before he knows it, five years have gone by, and Michael is still in his bed. Avery is comfortable. Even happy. And he's famous, which is a bonus.

But now Michael is changing... into something that Avery's been having nightmares about for most of his life.

http://rowanmcbride.com/stories/mfgu/index.html

If you'd like to make a comment about any of the MFGU installments, or the story as a whole, you can do it here.

Sorry I've been absent.

2011-07-07T03:21:00.001-05:00

Been sick. Still sick, but feeling a little better now. Even been writing a bit, and *might* have something to post soon. XD

Muscle Growth on the Silver Screen

2011-03-29T01:34:00.004-05:00

Words can not describe how much I love this trailer:

Sending Relief to Japan

2011-03-14T16:41:00.004-05:00

Yaoi-Con is auctioning off some amazing stuff, and all proceeds will go to the relief effort in Japan. More information can be found on their main site, while the actual auction is at http://ycon-auction.livejournal.com/. I've already put down a bid on a Vash and Wolfwood poster.

If you'd like to donate money through more traditional channels, click here for six ways more ways to help the victims of the earthquake/tsunami.

Also, prayers appreciated for my best friend's mother. We haven't been able to contact her yet.

Pretty Words

2011-03-11T00:22:00.003-06:00

Two things happened in my writing life recently that were kind of interesting and kind of related. First—I finished a novella. I think I’m going to title it Just Perfect despite the fact that it’s one of my darker stories but we’ll see. It’s in a revision stage, after which I’ll submit it to a publisher, so keep your fingers crossed. The second is that I’m currently working on another story and I finished writing a sex scene that I started in…2009, I think. Yeah, I got stalled pretty badly there. It might have been a good stall though because when I look at the plotline it doesn’t seem believable to me anymore, and I think I’ve got a better direction now for the book. Silver lining and all that.

The thing that kind of relates these two stories is language. When I was writing Just Perfect, I was afraid I’d lost the sense of lyricism I was so proud of in books like Lone and Paul’s Dream. Some might say I’m a little too in love with that sort of writing, but I’m really attached to pretty words, sentences that flow. The language in Just Perfect is hard, straightforward, and to the point. It wasn’t until I’d finished the story and read it all the way through for the first time that I realized this was Draven’s (the main character’s) voice, and that it fit. He’s an assassin, after all. And one who likes his job.

The story I’m working on now has more of the pretty words I thought I’d lost, which makes sense. Both characters in this one are nicer, gentler, a lot more innocent. They think differently so they express themselves differently.

I forget, sometimes, that it’s the characters who set the tone for a story, and that as long as you stay true to them, the words may not always be “pretty,” but they’ll always flow. And just because I’m stretching my writing muscles from time to time, doesn’t mean I’ve lost my touch.

It might even mean I’ve gotten better. (This is me, trying to be more optimistic as per my New Year’s resolution.)

;)

Thanks for the recs!

2011-02-02T19:23:00.002-06:00

I know it's sick and wrong, but I like a little darkness to read during the Valentine's season. Now I have what looks like a fantastic list to choose from.

Thanks again--I'll be having a lot of fun, I'm sure. :)

-- Rowan

Need a book rec

2011-01-05T20:27:00.001-06:00

Looking for something dark, twisty, and sexy to read. Little help?

The Jascian's Toy - 14

2011-01-01T18:32:00.002-06:00

Chapter 14 of The Jascian's Toy is on my website. You can read it at http://rowanmcbride.com/stories/serials/ .

Hope you enjoy this installment. Remember there's a comment section for the story now here.

Happy New Year!

Searchin' the Search Phrases: 2010

2010-12-31T00:01:00.005-06:00

End-of-the-year tradition time! One of mine is to go through the search phrases that resulted in a hit on my site over the past year. The most common phrase was "Rowan McBride," although this time around there were a slew of creative misspellings of my name, which has me siked because it means that people who aren't all that familiar with me are looking for me, and in theory that's a good thing career-wise. XD

Also, "Author Rowan" will get you to my site without any trouble. Who knew?

There were phrase and story title combinations that help me from a stats and marketing point of view, but as always my favorites are the ones that make me laugh or tilt my head in confusion. Listing them in no particular order below in the hopes that they'll make you do the same.

dalek haiku
Yeah baby!

watching him orgasm
Who? Was he hot? Did he know??

rat pack cardboard cutouts
I want an invite to that party.

bhargava s 33 theorem asserts
You know what google says the rest of that sentence is?
...that an integral quadratic form represents all odd numbers if it represents 1, 3, 5, 7, 11, 15 and 33. - T. D. Noe (noe(AT)sspectra.com), Mar 30 2006

Know what it means? Me either, but since Seth and Nick are the math geeks on my site, I'm choosing to blame them even though neither of them use this particular theorem in their stories.

Look at that. I actually searched a search phrase this year. Title of blog segment validated.

he rubbed his hand up my thigh
Hey, hey now. Maybe you should slow down there...

he slipped his hand into my pants and stroked my stiffening cock
I didn't. I swear.

pushed myself forward as if i felt a slow big fingers caressing my hairy crack
O.O

what s wrong? isn t that what you wanted
About here is when I began to wonder if I was being *deliberately* molested via search engine.

how to play three blind mice
I can actually help you with this if you're looking to play it on piano, guitar, recorder, or xylophone. Weirdly enough I don't know all the words, so I can't sing it. Not that you'd want me to.

his ass cock whimpered or load or deep or again or another or cum his pucker -she -her
This searcher either doesn't know what the hell they want or knows EXACTLY what they want and is a Boolean genius.

i got skin grown over my shoulder
I'm no expert, but I think that's supposed to be there.

site http //www.rowanmcbride.com/superhero
This page doesn't exist, but it totally should.

you and the little mermaid can go
That sounds like the beginning of the best cursing out ever.

plunder rowan mcbride
Pass. That's pirate pillow talk, and I'm all about the ninjas.

i buried my head in his chest and he wrapped his arms around me he laughed into my hair and i felt his warm breath on my face
I don't have a smartass comment for this one. I'm just feeling sentimental at the end of the year and liked the imagery.

And my favorite search phrase of 2010 is:

jascia sex tube
I don't know what the hell it is, but I feel like the story needs one. Bad.

That's it. For me 2010 was about finding my muse again. It took a while, but I feel like there'll be some good stuff in 2011.

I hope there's good stuff in 2011 for you too. ;)

Happy New Year!

-- Rowan

Check out what happens...

2010-12-19T00:12:00.007-06:00

... when you Google muscle theft:

Yeah, baby! This blog takes the top two spots in the results. How cool is that?

No idea how long it'll last. I only found out because a friend happened to be searching for muscle theft stories, but I'm glad he dropped me a line to let me know in time to screencap it. :D

Incidentally, the fifth result on that list is a portal to the O'Zone, and O's site is a good one for growth, theft, and a long list of other interesting genres. It's also how I ended up on The Evolution Forum, which is the first place I ever read muscle theft fiction I liked. So without O, I probably wouldn't have any theft stories.

Life's quite the tapestry sometimes.

Or maybe my brain's short circuiting because I've been up for two days.

Closing out this rambling now.

:)

Jascian's Toy on my website

2010-11-29T14:18:00.007-06:00

I've finally uploaded the existing chapters of The Jascian's Toy to my site. It took a while because I couldn't resist re-reading them, and whenever I re-read something I wrote I can't resist tweaking it. Plus the coding. There was a bit of coding involved.

But it's up now, looking quite at home in the serials section: www.RowanMcBride.com/stories/serials. Although I made a lot of little edits, it was mostly streamlining stuff. I believe changing the name of the Earther Care Kit to Toy Care Kit (TCK) is the only major tweak I made that affects future installments, which I can work on now because I have a place to put them as well as easily edit them. :-D

I've also added a comments section, so you can go there to comment on individual installments or the story as a whole.

Please let me know how you like the new layout. I finished editing/coding at 4:30am this morning, so there are most likely bugs. Drop me a line if you find any.

The Jascian's Toy - Comments Section

2010-11-29T14:02:00.004-06:00

Story Blurb:

Blake is kidnapped to another world to be an alien's toy.
www.RowanMcBride.com/stories/serials

If you'd like to make a comment about any of the Jascian installments, or the story as a whole, you can do it here.

Thanksgiving M/M Chat

2010-11-19T23:56:00.001-06:00

Literary Nymphs is giving one of its mega M/M themed chats Thanksgiving weekend. I’ve been both participant and lurker in these events and either way they’re hella fun. This time around I’ll be participating, meaning that if you didn’t get to play “Where’s Rowan” in San Francisco over Halloween weekend, this’ll be a chance to win some prizes.

Remember, it's a high traffic group, so it's probably best to click the "web only" option when signing up. I'm posting the official promo for the chat below, which will include all the details. If you do drop by and happen to see me, give me a wave, yeah?

***

Well, it's that time of year again and Literary Nymphs is hosting their HUGE
Thanksgiving Day weekend M/M only chat and this year, we have a list of
attendees that will knock your socks off (be sure to put them back on cuz
it's cold outside!!!)!! So far, we have the following authors either
attending or tentatively scheduled to attend: Jessica Freely, Jaye
Valentine, Lynn Lorenz, Kimberly Gardner, Syd McGinley, Amanda Young, K.Z.
Snow, Jessica Freely, Josh Lanyon, Sloan Parker, Rowan McBride, KC
Kendricks, Lee Rowan, Stephanie Vaughan, Ally Blue (tentative), Kate Steele,
Jet Mykles, Lee Benoit, KC Burn, Michael Barnette, Shayla Kersten, EM
Lynley, Jenny Urban, Elizabeth Silver, Missy Welsh, Angel Martinez,
Christiane France, Ariel Tachna, Rowena Sudbury, Tinnean, Tedy Ward and
Margaret Mills, Andrew Gray, Clare London, Jan Irving, Chrissy Munder, Lori
Toland, Sarah Black, Amy Lane, Blak Rayne, Carolina Valdez, Berengaria
Brown, Marilu Mann, Alan Chin, VJ Summers, Pat Brown, Alix Bekins, Z.A.
Maxfield, Andrea Speed, Amber Green, John Simpson, Lex Valentine, Andi
Anderson, Amber Kell, Charlie Cochrane, J. Hali Steele, Brenna Lyons, Jenna
Hilary Sinclair, Marianne Guenon, Christie Gordon and the responses keep
rolling in so don't miss it!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LiteraryNymphsChat/

When? November 26, 27, 28 (Friday 9:00 am Eastern Time Saturday, and Sunday)

Where? http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LiteraryNymphsChat/

Why? This just might be our biggest chat ever so it should be very much fun!

Reviews!

2010-11-10T20:11:00.004-06:00

Still settling in from Yaoi-Con. Somewhere in between me realizing I don't have enough shelf space for my new manga and me realizing I don't have enough wall space for my new art, I got a couple of sweet reviews:

Boylove Addict wrote that "This book is literally going right into my keeper shelf." They said some other great stuff, too, and you can read the full review at:

http://boylove-addict.livejournal.com/58769.html

You can also learn more about Lone (as well as read an excerpt) on my site.

Paul's Dream left Serena Yates at Queer Magazine Online "totally breathless," and I'm stoked over that. She also used words like "amazing," "engaging," and "evil." I probably shouldn't be *as* stoked over that last one, but hell, drawing up a no-holds barred villain was surprisingly difficult.

To read all of this review, go to http://www.queermagazineonline.com

And of course you can check out more Paul's Dream stuff on my site.

I think jetting off to San Francisco did me good. Wrote 2700 words yesterday and plan to write tonight. Hoping this means I'm slipping back into a good groove.

Home from Yaoi-Con

2010-11-05T23:01:00.004-05:00

And still recovering, so a longer recap (with pics, hopefully) will be coming later. For now, though, I wanted to list the highlights:

Met a bunch of friends, old and new.

Gave away all my Where's Rowan prizes.

Got Yamane Ayano's autograph.

Won Best Action at the AMV contest.

Won a bishie at an auction.

Went to Alcatraz.

Bought a busload of stuff.

Watched "Ghost Adventures" for the first time. lol.

There was a lot more, I know, but I need a little time to organize my thoughts and sift through the stuff that cannot be told. ;)

Game On!

2010-10-29T12:31:00.002-05:00

Where's Rowan? Find me at Yaoi-Con wearing this hat:

And follow these rules to win fab prizes. From October 29-31. That's now!

Where's Rowan? (Yaoi-Con 2010 edition)

2010-10-20T16:39:00.006-05:00

Katrina Strauss was way generous and sent me a bunch of stuff to give away along with mine, so I figured now was as good a time as any to post the rules of this year's "Where's Rowan" game. But first, the glorious hat that is the key to victory and--dare I say it--seventh level happiness. I speak, of course, of the Urahara/chibi-Gaara impossible to match with anything baseball cap:

Oh yes, it's spiffy. It even has quite the extensive backstory in that it was made during a phase where for some reason people were sending me plushies left and right, chibi-Gaara got the traditional bucket hat, drama ensued, and eventually there was even a photo taken with Gaara wearing THIS hat. It's convoluted and only really makes sense in my mind, but the bottom line is that this hat possesses magical powers and can win you prizes. These prizes, in fact:

I tried to make sure I put one of each in there, but I've got a *lot* of prints in varying sizes. You may have noticed some sparkling Blue Ruin and Sleight of Hand love mixed in there-- those are what Katrina sent. :D

The CDs I'm giving out are "first chapter" CDs, in they contain the first chapter of all my currently published works, plus a copy of my short story "A Picture's Worth." I'm also giving away one trade paperback copy each of Lone, Warm Rush: Chasing Winter, and Want Me.

Nice, yeah?

Rules:

Finding the hat is pretty much it. Look for it at Yaoi-Con 2010 either on my head or attached to my messenger bag.

Once you find the hat, walk up to the person with it and ask politely "Are you Rowan McBride?" If they say no, keep walkin' because it means my idea wasn't as original as I thought and someone else painted their own Urahara baseball cap. If it *is* me, then I'll probably flash a big goofy grin and you'll win one of the fabulous prizes listed above.

I'll be posting many of my locations in real time via twitter, so keep an eye on that page for an advantage.

Contest begins when I yell "Game On!" on this blog, my website, twitter, and on my newsletter Friday, October 29th 2010 and ends Halloween day.

Have fun!

Yaoi-Con musings

2010-10-12T02:20:00.005-05:00

This Halloween weekend I’ll be in San Francisco for Yaoi-Con. Gotta say, looking forward to it. Fate has set it up so that I get to meet up with an old friend I haven’t seen since college. I also have plans to meet a lot of new friends face-to-face for the first time. Plus there’s an impressive list of people I plan to outright stalk. Conventions rock.

And, yes, I do plan to play Where’s Rowan? while I’m there. The rules will be similar to last year when we played at DragonCon. Yaoi-Con’s a lot smaller so I won’t be posting every move I make on twitter, but I’ll tweet the highlights because I have a lot of prizes to give away and this is the…what?...third or fourth year we’ve played and no one’s ever found Rowan. I have high hopes that the streak will be broken this year. With my luck it will be while I’m letting someone else try on the hat.

What prizes have I got this time around? I’ll list the details in a later post, but good ones. Plus author and friend Katrina Strauss is sending me some swag and how cool is that?

So, any of you guys going to the con? What events are you looking forward to?

Michael Finally Grows Up - Chapter 8

2010-09-16T20:19:00.003-05:00

Chapter eight of Michael Finally Grows Up is done and posted. I wish I had something clever and insightful to say as to why I up and decided to write more of this story after, oh, a year and two months, but the truth is I was feeling it and so I jumped in. XD

Avery’s voice is always a lot of fun to write for me. I hope you enjoy getting reacquainted with him:

http://rowanmcbride.com/stories/mfgu/

Fun Stuff: Cosplay

2010-09-03T01:54:00.004-05:00

Is "Fun Stuff" better than "Feed the Fun"? I dunno. Moving on.

If you read my previous post you know last month was hella hectic for me because the family had descended. Proof of how frazzled this had made me can be found in the typo I made in the title of a newsletter I sent out last month. {sigh} Embarrassing. But overall being with the extended fam was a lot of fun, things have settled in the last few days, and now I'm in recovery mode, so let's move on from that as well.

Dragon*Con starts this weekend. I don't get to go this time around so that's a bummer, but my favorite thing about any fan convention is the cosplay, so I thought I'd post a few of my favorite images from deviantArt. I hope you enjoy them too.

TZP: The Lost Woods by *Adella on deviant ART

This dude's body isn't photoshopped--he spent six months with a personal trainer to look like Link. Now that's dedication to a character.

***

Code Geass R2 - Mutuality - 09 by ~shiroang on deviant ART

I never get tired of good Geass cosplay.

***

X: if we could stay together by ~Aoinagaru on deviant ART

I love X. And fanservice.

***

The Doctor and The Batman by *blackjack157 on deviant ART

Bizarre team-ups rock too.

Heh. Limericks.

2010-08-10T17:51:00.004-05:00

Haven't been online much because the fam has descended. I'm talking parents, grandparents, cousins (and their families), aunties, uncles, brothers, nephews, nieces. If they don't drink, they shoot, if they don't shoot, they cook, if they don't cook, they dance, and if they don't dance, they, uh, write, I guess. We all, without exception, play dominoes. This is the state of my life at the moment.

I totally missed the start of the Goodreads M/M Romance Group 1-year Anniversary Celebration. I would have missed the whole thing if I hadn't received an email letting me know it was time for me to mail out a prize I'd donated. But thanks to that email I got to drop in on some of the fun. I even got to play in a limerick contest yesterday and it floored the hell out of me to find out via another somewhat random email that the little sucker made first place. I chose Lynn Lorenz's "Pinky Swear" as my prize, so assuming no one snapped it up before me and assuming I picked from the correct prize list, I'm looking forward to a good read.

The celebration's still going on. Drop in and have some fun. Also, if you have a minute, pray for me.

Posting the limerick below. The prompt was "Pain."

There once was a heart in my chest
Until you ripped it right out of my breast
Now there's no dawn
As the pain writhes on
You stole my love *and* my death

Sean Scott's Buff Muscles

2010-07-14T00:03:00.004-05:00

It occurs to me that the above blog subject reads like the title of a story. Damn. I really need to finish something.

Last week I was doing that thing where you look up people you admire on twitter on the off chance that they’re there. I found Sean Scott, whose stories I’d been reading since before I started posting my own. If you’re into muscle fiction and you don’t recognize the name, you might be more familiar with his pseuds Aaron Strong and Derek Flex. If you know any of those names, you know he writes good stuff.

He did, indeed, have a twitter account. I hit follow. That was that.

Until a few hours later and I get an email from the man himself telling me he’s a fan of my stuff. I freaked out. Didn’t reply for three days.

I mean, where does he get off, telling me he’s a fan? I was his fan first. Doesn’t he know how bizarre that is?

When I did write him, it was something to that effect. I don’t handle pressure well.

But lucky for me he’s nice and more, uh, centered than I am. And his website is not just nice, it’s niiiiiiiiice. With stories and pics and blog posts and videos. All of it geared toward the grownup crowd and all of it hawt.

www.BuffMuscles.com

Registration required to see some of the content, but it’s free and fun. It’s easy to get immersed there. A lot of my friends haven’t heard from me in, hmm, about a week now. XD

Feed the Fun -- Vampires

2010-07-04T17:24:00.007-05:00

Believe it or not, I didn't forget to post this Friday. I couldn't decide on this month's feature and stalled myself. Then I remembered what released this weekend and realized it was a no brainer.

So below is an AMV featuring one of my all time favorite vamps: Alucard from the Hellsing anime series. Notice his use of the cool ass hat. ;)

PS - If you'd like to rename "Feed the Fun," read the deets here.

Yaoi-Con

2010-06-22T00:05:00.004-05:00

Yeah, it looks like I'm going. XD

I'm even thinking of picking a day and playing Where's Rowan, so if you're going to be in San Francisco on Halloween weekend, maybe we'll have some fun.

You can learn more about the convention at http://yaoicon.com/.

Nine Seconds of Superman

2010-05-28T03:13:00.001-05:00

Want Me, Book Depository, and a Manga Rec

2010-05-17T00:01:00.001-05:00

Mrs. Giggles loves Book Depository. Talks about it all the time on her blog. For some reason I never thought to check it out until recently.

She’s right. It’s pretty freaking awesome. Most of their books have discounts comparable to the other big online book stores, and they have free shipping all over the world, no matter how much or how little you buy. Since I have a lot of days where I only buy one book at a time, this really works for me.

As is my habit when I hit a new book site, I typed my name in the search bar, and it turns out Want Me is listed there as well. So, wherever you are, you can get it shipped to you for free. Very cool.

What I ended up buying on Book Depository was volume one of Kurashina Sensei’s Passion. Was in the mood for a sensei story, and it turned out to be perfect for that. Kurashina himself is one of my favorite types of characters: high strung, high tempered, badass when the chips are down, and his heart’s always in the right place. He wears a suit. He wears glasses. It’s nice.

The story follows Kurashina-sensei as he returns to his alma mater to teach, and how he deals with a wide array of personalities. There’s an interesting dynamic between him and one of the students that starts with Kurashina’s cat puking all over the student.

I’ve only read volume one so far, and it was funny. It was also sweet without getting sugary and I was looking for something lighthearted to read (I’d been feeling the weight of writer’s block and just needed to freaking relax). So if you’re looking for something like that too, I recommend KSP.

Feed the… Fun?

2010-05-14T00:01:00.003-05:00

The day I left for college, my mom was sitting next to me in the airport. My dad would have been there too, but he was still in the military and ended up not being able to come. Mom was all teary eyed because I’m the first born and I’m told the first to go away is usually the most traumatic for the moms while the last to go is the most traumatic for the dads.

So we’re sitting there, and she starts telling me she knows I’m going to have a lot of fun in school. I naturally think this is a trap, so I calmly answer that I don’t intend to have much fun—that I of course intended to be very serious about my studies.

This turned out to be the wrong answer because she said, “It’s only natural for people your age to go to school and have lots of fun.”

“Seriously, you don’t have to worry about me,” I told her, focusing on an empty chair in front of us. “I got this, and I’m gonna get into a good law school.”

“No no. I WANT you to have fun.”

Finally, I turn my head. “Say what?”

“It’s healthy for you.”

“Huh?”

“I just want you to… to be safe.”

I blink. “Well, uh. If I get a chance to try this snowboarding thing I promise I’ll wear a helmet, pads, the whole bit.” (At the time I was moving from Hawaii to Iowa.)

“No no no.” Her voice drops. “I want you to make sure you have,” to a whisper, “protection. Always.”

Isn’t that what I’d just assured her? How many times did I have to…

Then it dawns on me, and I bolt upright in my chair and say loud enough to carry through half the airport, “OH. When you say fun you’re talking sex.”

At which point I literally get a fist slammed into the top of my head.

But since then, every time a grownup says “fun” the dirty little voice in my head says “sex,” and that’s why for now we’re renaming the Feed the Fetish feature on this blog to Feed the Fun. It’s still not the greatest title, so the contest is still on. Keep playing, and if I choose your title I’ll send you a prize. :)

With that, in honor of some of the stories I’ve been tinkering around with lately, this week’s Feed the Fun is not quite human (or more than, depending on your perspective) guys:

Bleach - Grimmjow by ~Linnou on deviant ART

He's from an anime called Bleach. He's got rage issues. And I'd totally be willing to have fun with him he if were real. Okay, probably not since since I value my life. But you never know.

***

water spirit - color by =pandabaka on deviant ART

There really isn't enough water spirit art out there.

***

Commission: Deathly Raven by =mazjojo on deviant ART

Love the ears, love the scythe, love the fact that he looks like he's about to have some fun kicking ass.

***

Razvan in the city by *Dark-Razvan on deviant ART

This for me captures what draws me to urban fantasy.

***

Nightcrawler's Sanctuary by ~themovieguru42 on deviant ART

He's fun in any incarnation. :)

Like P.L. Nunn’s art?

2010-05-10T14:35:00.002-05:00

Katrina Strauss was kind enough to drop me a line letting me know that P.L. Nunn is selling prints of many of the book covers she designed for five dollars each. One Shot is on the list, and in case you forgot what that one looked like—because, ya know, I don’t post it nearly enough ;)—here it is below:

A lot of other great covers there as well, and the site in general is much fun. You can check it all out at http://bishonenworks.com/art_gallery/main/display.php?id=43.

Nice way to kick off the week, yeah?

Awesome Review for "One Shot"

2010-04-06T13:50:00.004-05:00

Bitten by Books wrote that "One Shot is by far one of the best romantic eroticas that I have ever read." They also said a lot of other great things about the story, and you can read the full review at:

http://bittenbybooks.com/?p=21997

And you can learn more about One Shot (as well as read an excerpt) on my site. :D

Feed the Fetish -- New title for Feed the Fetish

2010-04-02T02:17:00.003-05:00

I was thinking about my whole Feed the Fetish series and it occurs to me that it isn’t so much about my “fetishes” (of which I actually have very few) as it is a feature about “things I like a lot” (of which I have many). I’d be able to post about even more things I like and things other people like if “fetish” weren’t in the title, but I've got nothing as far as new names for the feature.

Any ideas? If so, please post in the comments. If I choose your title, there’s a shiny new 8x10 glossy of my Boy Meets Bishie logo in it for ya. :)

Jascian, YouTube, and other news.

2010-03-28T01:02:00.007-05:00

I've posted chapter 13 of "The Jascian's Toy." Although I posted it first on the Evolution Forum at http://www.musclegrowth.org/forum/showthread.php?t=19169, I couldn't resist making a few last minute edits before submitting it to Nifty, so I would suggest reading it there since it's up today on that site. The mirror I use is http://nifty.guiltygroups.com/nifty/gay/sf-fantasy/jascians-toy/.

I'm planning to centralize the story on my own website, so in the future you'll be able to read new installments there first, which will make access quicker and easier for everyone. Should be a good thing.

I've gotten myself a new YouTube channel. So far it's only got one book trailer and a few favorites, but it should be pretty cool...eventually. You can view it/subscribe/drop me a line at: http://www.youtube.com/user/RowanMcBride.

My reading list has (finally) changed. If you're interested, it's on my Interests page. Two new books. I'm making progress. :)

Plus I've got a new banner!

Pretty snazzy, yeah? You can view the full sized version here.

Feed the Fetish -- A Well Made Suit

2010-03-05T00:01:00.002-06:00

I don't know what it is, but something about a tailored suit always gets to me. Even better if the guy wearing the suit is also wearing glasses and/or {ah yeah} is a sadistic seme. Throw a little magic in? Bonus.

Not a lot of the guys in my own stories so far have worn the glorious tailored suit. Jesse from Chasing Winter didn't like them, but he wore one once, and Keith made sure to jump him good in that scene. Nick almost always had a suit on in One Shot, but it was more of a cute "I'm trying to emulate my mentor" kind of thing. As far as suit-imagery goes, his mentor Greg painted a more powerful image for me, which is a shame because he doesn't have a story. heh.

Paul, though... Man, he was a lot of fun to write. Cool, calm, always in control. Until Kian came along and set his whole world on fire, anyway. And Anne Cain made sure he rocked that suit on the cover:

Never get tired of it, so this month's Feed the Fetish is full of men who also rock their suits:

Sakurazuka Seishiro by ~Eriko-chan on deviant ART
Seishiro, from Tokyo Babylon and X/1999. Smoking's not good for you and truthfully neither is he, but I still love him.

***

Soon by ~Rai-daydreamer on deviant ART
Big guys look good in suits too. :D

***

shooting 31.05.2009with smun13 by ~phenomdesire on deviant ART
No jacket, but he has glasses in his mouth, so I'm giving him a pass. ;)

***

At your services by *heise on deviant ART
Dom in a suit... submissive in a suit... It's all good.

So, who's your favorite suit?

Pondering Rainbows

2010-02-17T00:01:00.007-06:00

“I don’t have time to wake up every morning and ponder my sexuality all day.”

The above is one of a vast array of things said by an old friend to me during one of the last conversations we would ever have, because she was in the process of disowning me. It was certainly the last significant conversation we had, because the one after started as an awkward “how is your health” sort of thing that ended just as badly, but quieter and—given this was (wow) years ago—I can say with confidence it ended things between us for good.

I remember trying to explain that (a) sex is different from gender, (b) sexual orientation is separate from gender identity, and (c) that I didn’t wake up and ponder being a gender fluid person any more than she woke up pondering what it was like being a cis-gendered woman.

I never got to (c). Calling it a “conversation” was possibly too generous.

This isn’t the first time I’ve mentioned something from that day on this blog, and probably won’t be the last. Sometimes I’m embarrassed that I keep going back to it, because really I’m unbelievably lucky. My dad grew up southern Baptist and was a cowboy before joining the Air Force. My mom grew up very traditionally Korean and these days she's a fundamentalist Baptist. I could have been disowned for real, but they were almost anti-climatically cool about me being gender-fluid. They don’t understand some of it and sometimes they backslide a bit, but they still love me and not in a “hate the sin love the sinner” kind of way so it’s definitely a win. None of my other close friends freaked out.

I keep saying I’ll put it out of my mind, but I guess things like that never really leave you. And lately I’ve been dissecting bits and pieces of what she said to me, turning them around in my head, using those little daggers to try and understand myself better.

Today I pondered my sexuality AND my gender, dammit.

A while back the television was on and Oprah was talking to a person who’d written a book about sexual fluidity. I glanced up because I rarely hear the term “gender fluid” unless I’m saying it and this was close enough to have me riveted. Oprah carefully asked the other person a question that I imagine a lot of people probably think and keep to themselves. Paraphrasing, it went something like:

When a woman who’s been straight all her life comes out as lesbian, why is it that you often see them with women that…sort of look like men?

The interviewee, Dr. Lisa Diamond, didn’t miss a beat, explaining that you can be attracted to women, but prefer masculine features.

I remember smiling at that, but didn’t really process it because I was under deadline at the time.

Today I pondered, and it was a hell of a lot of fun. Sexuality, gender, biology, et al. are complex things, and at first I skirted along the edges:

Gay men.
Straight women.
Lesbian women.
Straight men.

And then I just dove right in:

So, okay. A masculine male might like masculine features in men. A feminine woman could go for an equally lacy female. A bisexual woman or man might like masculine traits in both men and women, although my best friend is bisexual and sie needs hir women ULTRA feminine and hir men SUPER masculine, so you can split that down the middle. A friend of mine’s daughter IDs as pansexual and I had to wiki that, but I had to explain demisexual to someone of a similar age so the younger generation doesn’t have a monopoly on terms. Bois like grrls. Bois like birls who like bois. Yes, men who were born with female bodies can be attracted to men. Or women. Or any combination of the two. Androgynes are sometimes attracted to androgynous people, but being “androgynous” applies to physical features and not all androgynes look outwardly androgynous. Similarly, not all androgynous people identify as androgyne. A feminine man might go for feminine women and it doesn’t mean that the man is repressing his homosexuality or is bisexual. He might just know he looks damned good in pink. While polyamorous people can be bisexual and vice versa, the two terms are not interchangeable. It's just possible to stack them in some cases. Like one might stack "straight polyamorous cis-gendered woman." No one has exact numbers on how many intersexed people are out there because doctors and parents tend to make the gender decision for the child at birth and then hide the information to avoid stigma for the child. Often the child won’t find out unless there’s a medical problem later in life. More and more, however, parents of intersexed children are letting their kids choose their own gender when they’re older. Some choose male, some choose female, some don’t choose. Not choosing doesn’t make them indecisive or deformed. It just means they’re intersexed. GLBTQQICA. Sometimes athletic women are straight. Sometimes they’re not. Being an athlete doesn’t have anything to do with that. Bi-gendered, 3rd gendered, multi-gendered, genderqueer, omni-gendered, cis-gendered, gender-fluid, transgendered, non-gendered. Real men wear Stetsons. Real men drive trucks. Real men cry. Real men are afraid of spiders. Confession: I have NO fucking idea what a real man is, but genuine thanks to the kind people who send me mail to let me know that I write them.

Having fun yet? And the great thing is I haven’t even scratched the surface.

On that terrible day I had a fight with someone I’d been sure would be my friend forever, I was offended that she would assume I spent so much time thinking about sexuality/gender. Now I wonder why I don’t think about it MORE. It’s an amazing, mind bending thing to look at, and it makes me happy to see something new every time I do. It’s only when you look at it all that you understand why nearly every variation of a queer symbol has a rainbow on it—a rainbow is a spectrum of light that's only visible when you look up to see the sun through the rain, and it’s bright, and beautiful, and (to borrow a story from my highly biblical upbringing) it’s a miracle.

Hands are awesome...

2010-02-15T00:03:00.001-06:00

... and sometimes ridiculously cute:

Starting

2010-02-10T00:01:00.006-06:00

I’ve come to the conclusion that the hardest part of writing isn’t finishing a story. The hardest part is starting one—over, and over, and over again. Because that’s what you have to do to get to the end, isn’t it? Start the book, eventually go to sleep. At some point over the course of the next day, start again…until you have to go to sleep. Repeat until there’s no more story. Start process over with another story while mentally preparing yourself to start revisions on previous one. Starting is the key here. Not finishing.

This feels like an epiphany, but at the same time I feel like I’ve read this pearl of wisdom somewhere before. Which is entirely possible. Some lessons take years to sink in with me.

For a lot of little reasons that happened to coalesce at the same time, I’m not working on any stories right now.* In the last few weeks I’ve wanted to, but for whatever reason I keep having false starts, not real ones. So my vacation continues, and it’s not so bad.

The other day I was looking over one of my bookcases. I’m a ~~hoarder~~ ~~packrat~~ archiver, especially about things I write, so I’ve got a bunch of old journals. Although I’ve been writing for about as long as I can remember, it hasn’t always been fiction, and as I looked through my journals I noticed that I only seemed to feel it necessary to document the details of my life when I wasn’t writing fiction or poetry. Some of those details were really…hrm…interesting and I figured that I’d post some *headdesk* unedited excerpts below:

From when I was 10 years old:

Today I went to the movies and watched Transformors the Movie. It was fun! SPike was a grown man and was saying some bad words (like (shit.)) There were few more bad words in it. It was great.

17 years old:

I understand why so many seniors take cruise classes. It’s so they don’t blow a gasket when trying to meet all of their college deadlines.

18 years old:

So, I asked him to be my Valentine.

And you know what the idiot said?

He actually said yes.

Surprised the hell outta me, and then he asked what we were supposed to do. I told him I didn’t have a clue, and he laughed again.

20 years old:

Tomorrow I’ll be trying my hand at car sales. I really, really hope I have some sort of hidden car selling talent. I don’t want to look like an idiot and be poor this summer.

25 years old:

No matter what had happened before or what would happen later—in those hours he was perfect.

26 years old:

The next thing I know, I’m wondering where my muffin is. A few seconds later I’m wondering why I’m on the floor. A few seconds after that I wonder why my mom is sobbing. Turns out she thought I was dead.

30 years old:

He dyed his hair orange and dressed up like Ichigo for me. Filthy, unspeakable deeds in the dead of night were his reward. He says next year he might do Hisagi.

31 years old:

Went to see Dark Knight. HOLY SHIT. I mean... holy shit! Heath Ledger’s Joker was iconic and the story... it’s living, it’s breathing, it digs its wway inside of you. Haha. “Why so serious?” Holy FUCKING shit!

As you can see, I was (and still am) a mess. But reading those journals had me smiling, sneezing (dust!), chuckling. I was sad in parts, hopeful in others. All emotions I try to evoke through my stories.

So maybe the lesson here isn’t about me not writing. Maybe the lesson here is about me accepting the fact that, while I haven’t jumped feet first back into any of my books yet, this blog has become a journal of sorts which allows me to get my thoughts down, rambling though they may be.

It’s a start, right?

* This post was actually written two weeks ago and last week I out of the blue updated The Jascian’s Toy. I was proud of chapter 12. I suppose now it’s time to start again.

Feed the Fetish – Furries

2010-02-05T16:04:00.003-06:00

Ah, there’s so much I could say about furries. While I don’t classify them as one of my personal fetishes, I am fascinated and there’s a lot in the genre I really like. I do plan to write more about them at some future point. But for now, eye candy:

Big Cat dude...thing. by ~Jackademus on deviant ART

Andre striptease by ~furiousfox on deviant ART

November 2009 Calendar by ~humbuged on deviant ART

Nifty links

2010-02-04T22:18:00.003-06:00

The Jascian's Toy - 12 seems to be through the Nifty.org mirrors now. If you'd prefer to read it there instead of at The Evolution Forum, knock yourself out. :)

I've also added a 2010 link to the Best of Rowan's Ramblings section on my About Me page. It only has one entry so far, but I'm thinking 2010 is going to be a good year so hopefully there will be more.

The Jascian's Toy - 12

2010-02-03T18:26:00.005-06:00

It's been almost a year since I've updated this story, and that's far too long considering how much I love it. I've posted the 12th installment on The Evolution Forum at http://www.musclegrowth.org/forum/showthread.php?t=18698 . Registration is required there, but free. I've been a member since 2005 and have never received anything more from the automated system than birthday emails and notifications of private messages, and those settings are adjustable.

If you prefer to read the story on http://nifty.org/, it's weaving its way through the mirrors now. I'll drop you a line once it's posted on the mirror that I use. :D

The new installment is a little longer than my usual chapters. The story gets a bit darker as well, but I believe all the characters involved grow in important ways, and I'm wicked proud of it.

I hope you enjoy it.

-- Rowan

Information Dissemination by Rowan McBride

2010-01-27T00:03:00.003-06:00

You can find out stuff about me through a lot of portals. I try to tailor each portal to the type of person who might use it, but I have a sneaking suspicion that my “logic” regarding my method is shaky at best. Still, I thought it might be fun (for me, maybe not so much for you) to see if I can break it down:

twitter
Twitter is a hundred and forty characters of instant gratification. If I get good news, if I get a good review, if I’ve just posted something—it’s almost guaranteed that I’ll let the world know first on twitter. The benefit of this is that you’re more likely to get news about me as soon as it happens.

The downsides are the sheer speed twitter news can fly by, and the fact that I’m inclined to get wrapped up in conversations about zombies or super heroes or whatever manga I’m reading at the drop of a hat.

My website
This is the most stable portal. My books and buy links are listed. Links to all the other portals are listed. There’s a straightforward news page. I try to keep it as clean and professional as possible.

There’s no real downside, except that every once in a while there’s a piece of information I forget to put on the news page. It doesn’t happen often, though.

My newsletter
After twitter, if I’ve released a book or posted a new installment to a story, my newsletter is the first place I send the message. So if you’re signed up to that, you’re going to get a message whenever the new stuff is up. And while the information included in the updates there are more detailed, I try to keep everything strictly writing related.

I’m not sure if this is an up or a down side, but I don’t update the newsletter unless something specific has happened in my writing life. I also like to have the letters include an announcement to, you know, some sort of STORY, so sometimes if I have news that doesn't I hesitate unless it’s a lot of news. Those two factors tend to keep the number of newsletters that go out per month low.

blogs
My home blog is on Blogger, accessible via http://rowanmcbride.blogspot.com/ and http://www.rowanmcbride.com/blog. It includes the updates featured in my newsletter but also carries the qualifier of “ramblings” in the title, so I often write about things that catch my attention. Blogger also lets me schedule posts in advance so sometimes I’ll have rambles set to go days or weeks in advance, which is good for me because I get to appear as if I put out (in theory) regularly spaced content, and it’s good for you because you don’t have to deal with those bursts of “blogging mania” I sometimes have and endure ten updates in less than a week.

You can also subscribe to my blog via google reader, feedburner, or RSS feed. There are probably other ways as well, but lately I’ve fallen behind on the tech. In fact, I think google owns feedburner now, so the first two options I listed might very well bottom line at the same thing at this point.

I cross-post most of my blog onto MySpace. MySpace gives me a lot of formatting trouble, though, which is why I jumped ship in the first place. As a result, many times things like Feed the Fetish don’t get posted there (or, if you’re on MySpace now—here). Also, if a scheduled blog posts on Blogger, it usually posts at around 12:01 A.M., but since I have to cut and paste to MySpace, it won't usually hit there until late afternoon. Which isn't a huge inconvenience, but if you've ever wondered about the disparity in posting times, that's why.

goodreads
Although I do have a goodreads account, so far I haven’t used it for much more than popping in on occasion to update my reading list and to drop a few thoughts on whatever manga I've just finished. I actually haven’t figured out most of the functions there yet, I’m sure.

There is a blog function there and the beautiful thing about it is that it automatically updates when I post on Blogger.

deviantArt
I very, very rarely post any information of use here. I just dink around and draw. :)

So… I think that’s pretty much every one of my portals. How are you doing? Still awake? Lol.

Apples and Vampires

2010-01-25T00:01:00.001-06:00

Good to know that I'm not the only one out there who thinks apples and vampires are a good combination:

SS for Elaine by ~Chancake on deviant ART

Birthday Sneakers

2010-01-18T00:01:00.001-06:00

My birthday was last week and here's a picture of one of my presents:

Best. Shoes. EVER.

How to Help Haiti

2010-01-16T19:27:00.003-06:00

I got the link via Mrs. Giggles's blog. It's a list of reputable places to donate:

http://www.care2.com/causes/human-rights/blog/how-to-help-haiti/

Lone's Book Trailer is in a Contest!

2010-01-16T17:10:00.004-06:00

I entered my Lone trailer in a contest. You can check it out along with the other entrants at Entries Part 1, and Entries Part 2. The voting rules are:

Votes will be counted via email.

One vote per person and per email. No multiple email accounts should try to vote over and over again.

Send vote to thepenmuse(at)gmail.com, subject: Entry #

Voters you have until Monday Jan 18th!

A lot of good trailers are entered. Even if you don't vote, they're fun to watch. :D

Feed the Fetish -- Giants

2010-01-08T00:01:00.001-06:00

I believe the correct word for me is "macrophile," although I find that I'm horribly picky about my giants. The "macro" part of the story or image usually has to tie in to muscle growth in some way, I don't like vore (when the giant eats people), gore, or anything really to do with feet.

And even though I like stories about female giants, it's surprisingly hard to find stories/images featuring male giants (what's up with that?). I think the first stories I found collected together were probably on the Evolution Forum, and since then I've discovered places like Metabods (which has been down for a while now due to repairs) and Coiled Fist (which is still up!).

Below are a few macrophile images I like. Next time around I'll see about posting links to some stories. :)

***

Mysterious Mist by ~lildlareg on deviant ART

***

Gulliver by ~TamasGaspar on deviant ART

***

Giant Experiment by *Zhu1609 on deviant ART

***
PS: Sorry about posting on the second Friday of this month. That whole New Year's thing threw me off.

Talk to the moose!

2010-01-07T03:33:00.001-06:00

I am entirely too fond of this vid:

Searching the Search Phrases '09

2009-12-31T02:23:00.006-06:00

This is the third year I've listed my favorite search phrases to hit http://www.rowanmcbride.com/. There were lots of searches for "Rowan McBride." There were a lot of single word searches like "january" and "book" and (I kid you not) "is" that had me wondering how many pages the surfer had to go through just to get to me, and whether they were happy when they got there. For the first time I saw phrases like "Rowan McBride torrent" pop up which was deeply depressing for me.

But, as with the previous years, there were some that were hella funny. Here are a few of my faves, in no particular order:

forbidden fruit rowan mcbride
Made the list because it tied so well into my previous blog posts.

blue curacao sickeningly sweet
Avery would definitely agree.

goodhand abrasive
Nooo. Good hands are NOT abrasive. I'm not opposed, however, to good hands being a little rough now and then. ;)

rowan flow i've never seen muscle growth
This was an interesting one because it felt like a note direct to me, and that I was supposed to decipher it. So far all I've got is Flow is currently being reworked for possible publication, and that if you've never seen muscle growth you've certainly come to the right place for it if you've hit my site. :)

polite please thank you into his ass
That...is most likely the best way to go about it.

why do i like muscle growth stories
You would not believe how often I'm asked that very question.

on the one hand dolphins are good
What's on the other hand? O.O

my tongue played with his
His what? Tease. I want to know! Unless it's the previous person's dolphin.

And my favorite search term to hit my site in 2009:

toaster said i want you inside of me
I think it has something to do with the sandwich place commercial that was out a while back, but I don't care. I can't figure out how it resulted in a hit on my site and it cracked me up bad.

That's this year's list. Wow, 2009 has been a year of incredible ups and downs, hasn't it? I wish everyone peace, joy, and love in 2010 (I'm having a bit of a hippie moment here).

Have a Happy New Year!

-- Rowan

Apple update!

2009-12-27T23:41:00.002-06:00

Regarding the candied apple I talked about in my previous post-- it did have caramel and even an apple inside. A green apple, even. Very tart. All and all a good experience that probably took the same number of years off my life as that deviled egg I experimented with a while back.

:D

Apples

2009-12-21T05:32:00.002-06:00

I bought this on impulse the other day:

As you can see, this thing is so horrible that the retailers had no choice but to tie it with what I assume to be a spiritual ribbon before sealing it inside a blessed cylinder. My camera kindly recorded the date I bought it right onto the photo. I've not yet worked up the courage to break the seal.

It’s got a chocolate shell studded with pecans. There might be caramel involved somewhere, but I’m not sure. The package would have me believe there’s an apple in there as well.

I have no idea how one goes about consuming such a thing. Apparently it serves 8-10 people, so I’m contemplating having some sort of candy apple party at my place. It would be good to have some friends in on this because (1) almost everything is better with friends and (2)… well…

I don’t really like apples.

It always jars me to admit that because from day to day I walk around thinking I like apples, and this delusion inevitably leads me to making purchases like the one above.

But I’m not that big a fan. Can’t stand apple juice. Not keen on apple pie unless it’s a small slice and it’s mostly crust. I make a little “yuck face” every time someone mentions apple sauce. Hard apple cider I can do if the occasion’s right. That’s about it.

Even plain, healthy apples give me trouble. I don’t like red apples and I don’t like sweet apples. If I’m going to eat an apple it’s got to be green and tart and sliced into wedges.

Apple issues. That’s what I’ve got.

Yet I adore the imagery, so much. It’s not even the “forbidden fruit” aspect that hooks me (although I DO like it and I’ve used it in that context). The fruit from the tree of knowledge that Adam & Eve took a bite out of was never actually called an apple. I like that if you cut an apple in half you get five seeds and those five seeds can stand for anything from the elements (fire, water, earth, air, soul) to the body of a person (head, hands, feet) to a simple five pointed star. I love that in DeathNote the shinigami actually find them addictive, and that Ryuk in particular calls them “jooshy.”

Even that great sound an apple makes when someone bites into it. There's something savage about that sound. I especially like it when a person buffs the apple on their shirt and then tears a chunk out of it--lure the prey in with a false sense of comfort and go in for the kill.

Apple torture. Just further highlights the issues I mentioned above.

And while I won’t eat a red apple, my characters sure as hell will, because to me red feels more seductive, more lush. If vampires didn’t drink blood, they’d probably eat red apples instead.*

Apple pie does a similar thing to me. I don’t like to eat it, but thinking about it elicits images of hearth and home. Of cold winter nights and warm fires.

Most of my stories make an apple reference in them somewhere. I think Paul’s Dream and Want Me are the only ones that don’t, although someone recently mentioned they think I’m wrong on that. If you know for sure there’s an apple reference in either of those books, be the first to paste the quote on this thread in the comments and I’ll send you an 8x10 glossy of that book cover. :)

So there you have it. My first post about apples. I should file it with the post I did a while back about shoes. Sometimes I’m really, really glad that “ramblings” is right there in the title of this blog to warn people of what lies ahead.

I’ll let you know if the giant piece of candied whatever above changes my mind about apples. :)

*Note: I hope I didn’t turn anyone off of red apples with the vampire analogy. I do not believe that red apples taste in any way like blood.**

**Note#2: But you gotta admit, vampire fangs are probably pretty handy when tearing into an apple. :D

Pepero winner chosen.

2009-12-21T01:05:00.002-06:00

The winner of the giant box of Pepero featured in my previous blog post is Bookheart, who entered the random drawing via the MySpace portal. Please drop an email with your name and snail-mail address to mcbride_rowan@yahoo.com (mcbride_rowan at yahoo dot com).

Thank you to everyone who entered my accidental contest!

Maybe we should make it a yearly thing?

Giant Freaking Pepero

2009-12-14T05:19:00.003-06:00

November 11th is Pepero Day in South Korea. It's a lot like Valentine's Day in that people will exchange gifts and/or candy with their crushes and loved ones, especially Pepero because the date of 11/11 resembles the chocolate covered cookie sticks.

November was a crazy month for me, so the 11th came and went with barely a thought. Someone mentioned it on twitter--I mentioned it back and let it slip my mind. Then a few days ago I got to stop by a local Korean grocery and saw an entire shelf of special edition Pepero. Here's a snapshot of some of the boxes I ended up bringing home:

The box of Nude Pepero I already had--just figured I'd put it there so you could get an idea of how big the giant Pepero is in comparison. ;)

The stuff in the picture is nowhere near close to the amount of stuff I actually bought. What am I going to do with it all? No idea, but it's mine for now, dammit, and I'm happy every time I look at it.

Happy Belated Pepero Day. :D

ETA: I made a mistake about mentioning a contest here on twitter. I don't know where my mind was. But hell, it's still a good idea. So, if you make a comment before, hmmm, the 21st of December, I'll pick a poster at random and send you one of these giant freaking boxes of Pepero. How's that? :D

Feed the Fetish -- Kemonomimi

2009-12-04T02:23:00.011-06:00

Animal ears and tails. I don't know why it can be so hot, but I'm there.

::XDOWN-morning:: by =rannsama on deviant ART

I think this is an original character by rannsama, so I don't really know who he is. I just know that he's planning something diabolical.

***

IYD Doodle Colored by *XxChiChixX on deviant ART

Maybe it's because I watched DBZ faithfully every week as a child and almost never watched it in my teen and adult years, but I can't help but think that innocent hug is gonna lead to someone's death in a minute.
***

Soubi and Seimei by ~MarluxiaVI on deviant ART

Ah, Seimei. In Loveless, the cat ears broadcast to the world the fact that you're innocent. Soubi knows better, but still obeys him, which is probably why he's seething there in the background. lol.

***

Youko Kurama by ~Xx333xX on deviant ART

I had to include Youko-sama. He was my, um, first regarding the ears. :D

Wishful Thinking - Self Portrait

2009-12-03T02:27:00.006-06:00

I always wonder what people think of me the first time they meet me in real life. I've had fans believe to the core of their being that I'm one or another of my characters, and that can be intimidating because they never pick the ones that are messes (Ace, Nick). They always seem to think I'm Paul or Charlie (Paul's Dream, Flow). It doesn't help that every once in a while I do have a moment of bonafide cool, but said moments usually cost me mad cool points and I have to spend weeks, even months recouping.

At any rate, I drew a rough comic depicting how I'd like to be and how I am. Sort of. Posting it below. :)

Wishful Thinking by ~rpm77 on deviant ART

***

Note: For those who didn't get a chance to read it, "Flow" is a story that was originally up at the Evolution Forum. I've since taken it down because, pending massive rewrites, I've gotten permission to submit the story to a publisher. While I'm daunted by the prospect of writing what will essentially be a whole new book, I'm also wicked excited. :D

So, Rowan. What have you been doing with your spare time?

2009-11-24T23:00:00.000-06:00

If you caught my recent interviews at Rain on Roof and Reviews by jessewave, you know I mentioned that I was taking a break from writing to recharge. Here are some of the things I've been doing:

Pulled the trusty Casio keyboard out of the closet. Hadn't touched it for years. This turned out to be a problem because apparently I'd left the batteries in there and they did the leak/rust/mold themselves into the inside thing. It took three hours, but I was able to get it clean enough to take new batteries.

Got a Wii Fit. Am now addicted to Rhythm Kung-fu. I probably take it waaaaay too seriously.

Experimented with creating a bit of stop-motion animation.

Watched all twelve episodes of Black Blood Brothers.

Read volume 1 of Xxxholic, Tsubasa Chronicles, and Legal Drug.

Created a hand-drawn animation for my mother: Dancing Figurine.

Had a relatively minor surgery, which put a stop to Rhythm Kung-fu for at least three weeks. lol.

Currently recovering from said surgery. :)

So that's everything I can recall. I haven't been writing a lot, but easing back into real life has opened up some interesting conversations with my muse, so I feel like good things are coming. Plus, I might have a fun blog event coming with some friends of mine, so cross your fingers for that. :D

Pitch

2009-11-22T17:17:00.004-06:00

My friend, Alex Woolfson, up and made a fab short film featuring angels, demons, and humor, so you know I like it. Embedding below, and you can visit his site at: http://www.yaoi911.com/.

Pitch from Alex Woolfson on Vimeo.

Feed the Fetish – Muscle Theft

2009-11-06T18:41:00.006-06:00

Okay, the original blog I’d intended to post today unexpectedly turned into a full blown rant. Being that I’m not one to post a rant unless I feel like I have a damned good reason, I’m going to let that post cool off for a bit while I consider it and start over with this one. :)

Muscle theft is a subgenre of muscle growth. It involves one party taking mass from another and hence making themselves bigger. For obvious reasons these are usually horror stories, often falling into the category of “erotic horror.” Sometimes you might root for the thief (ex: abused geek gets back at bullying jock) and other times the main character is unlikable but you can’t help reading anyway (sociopath finds out he can steal size and just runs with it).

I’ve written two muscle theft stories. One is “Want Me,” which features a classic jock/geek/roommate/magic spell scenario, and the other is “Just Wait” which I’d like to continue but has been a bit of a problem to place because it involves twins. I mention the two I’ve written because both stories were called “unique” in various reviews, and while I like to think that they are—indeed—quite brilliant (notice how here I automatically substitute “brilliant” for “unique.” It’s a writer coping mechanism, lol), I must admit that their base premises aren’t that unique within the muscle theft genre. No more so than a werewolf story featuring the wolf finding his mate under the full moon or a yaoi story with clear seme/uke dynamics.

I am in no way an expert on this genre and, come to think of it, the two stories I did write were both gifts for the same person, a guy who happens to kick ass in this genre. But I love reading the stories for the same reason I like watching scary movies—It gives me a darker kind of rush, and that’s okay in fiction.

So with that, for this month’s Feed the Fetish I’m posting links to a couple of muscle theft stories I’ve enjoyed over the last few years. For the sake of simplicity, all the links lead to stories on The Evolution Forum, which requires registration to read. But I’ve been a member for over three years now, and the only automated mail I’ve ever received are happy birthday notes. And even that’s customizable. I just happen to like birthday notes. The more I get, the more loved I feel.

/string of too much information.

Here are the links!

Alpha Dog by blackbird
A short story about why you really shouldn't pick on people you think are weaker than you.

* Part 1
* Part 2

Shift by Xyggurat
This writer's stories marked the first that made me really LIKE muscle theft. Plus, bits of Shift were written during my madcap attempt to write and post a book in a week, so there's a bit of a nod to Want Me in one of the chapters. :)

* Part I
* Part II
* Part III
* Part IV
* Part V
* Part VI
* Part VII
* Part VIII
* Part IX
* Part X
* Part XI

Taking the Good by Clarence591
I haven't read this one, but I'm way excited because it was recommended just now by a friend of mine who's heavily into the genre and now I have something to read over the weekend. W00t!

* Part I
* Part II
* Part III
* Part IV
* Part V

If you read any of the above, let me know what you think! Even better, comment on the forum itself, since comments=love.

I'm also toying with the idea of making a more extensive list of muscle theft stories. If you have a favorite work, I'd be very interested in hearing your recommendations. :)

Have a great weekened!

Reminder - Interview at Reviews by jessewave

2009-10-26T16:42:00.002-05:00

My interview on Reviews by jessewave is tomorrow, October 27th, 2009. I'll be there to answer reader comments off and on all day, and commenting will automatically enter you in a drawing to win an autographed copy of Want Me. Unless you don't want my third grade scrawling messing up the book. Then you have the option of no autograph. :)

The site address is http://www.reviewsbyjessewave.com/, and you don't have to register to comment. Topics in the interview will range from muscle growth to sadistic semes (it's all a rich tapestry, really), and I'd be siked if you stopped by!

Dalek Haiku

2009-10-22T16:06:00.009-05:00

Dalek Haiku

Exterminate now!
The Daleks must reign supreme!
WE EXTERMINATE.

-- Xyggurat

The above bit of genius had me laughing hysterically at four in the morning. Thank you to Xyggurat for giving me permission to post it. You rock socks.

If you're unfamiliar with the Doctor Who universe, there's a Dalek article on Wikipedia. :)

Interviews! And Prizes!

2009-10-18T04:11:00.000-05:00

I have two interviews coming up. One will be on Rain on Roof (http://sharrow.wordpress.com/) Monday, October 19th. There I’ll talk about writing, Pocky, manga. She asked me about my favorite shoes and rather than try and describe their shabby awesomeness I took a picture for her, so you get to see the footwear I sport almost every day if that’s the sort of thing that does it for you. :D Also, one of my currently published e-books will be given away in a drawing (you have to comment to enter -- the winner will get to choose which story they’d like). I’ll be at the blog on and off all day, and I’m looking forward to having a lot of fun conversing in the comments section with whoever shows up!

On Tuesday, October 27th, I’ll be interviewed on Reviews by Jessewave (http://www.reviewsbyjessewave.com/). I’ll be talking about writing, muscle growth, and ceiling fans. The prize given away will be an autographed copy of Want Me. If you already own Want Me, I imagine we could switch the prize up to an 8x10 glossy print of one of my book covers, or my Boy Meets Bishie logo. Your choice. Once again, you’ll have to comment in order to be entered.

Neither site requires registration to comment.

A weird quirk of timing is responsible for me having two interviews this month. My last interview (which, incidentally, was also my first interview) was done back in 2007, so it’s been a while. I gotta say—I’m a bit nervous. I hope to see you there, and I also hope I don’t stick my foot in my mouth. ;)

Fiction? Reality? Eh. It's a fine line.

2009-10-13T00:15:00.004-05:00

Thought I'd share one of the articles I'd read while working on One Shot:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7577501.stm

Will it have accidental side effects similar to the ones in my story? If so, then I'm thinking a needle in the arm is definitely worth it. ;)

Random Announcement

2009-10-10T06:31:00.003-05:00

So I'm a Goodreads author now. I'm not really sure what that means, but I've added some stuff to my profile that hopefully doesn't make it look too clunky. Still feeling my way around, but you can check it out here: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1257463.Rowan_McBride.

:)

"One Shot" is on Sale!

2009-10-05T23:35:00.004-05:00

:D :D :D

One Shot is available now from Loose Id!
Buy it now at: http://www.loose-id.com/prod-One_Shot-1023.aspx

Nick Carlyle understands the intricacies of his job better than anyone. He lives to crunch those numbers and his skills are valued throughout the company. If his personal life might be lacking, he doesn't notice, especially whenever he steals a harmless glance or two at Riley Jameson's tight body. But he's the boss, and that means look but don't touch.

When a universal flu shot is developed, it's hailed as a miracle, and rightly so. But the seemingly harmless side effects begin to change the world, warping the statistics that Nick's always used to guide him through life. Everything he thought he knew is suddenly upside down.

No one changes as much as Riley. Suddenly the young man is bigger, stronger. He's also aggressive in ways Nick isn't prepared for, and for the first time analyzing the numbers does nothing to help the situation.

Now, his numbers only add up when it comes to Riley.

Available now from Loose Id.

Feed the Fetish -- Cool Ass Hats

2009-10-02T22:19:00.003-05:00

I look goofy in hats. Really, really goofy. Takes a special kind of guy to look badass in one. :)

Akabane by ~shinigaminightwalker on deviant ART

Alucard by ~HATE-LOVE-FEAR-ANGER on deviant ART

Urahara by ~Pablo-Oz on deviant ART

3/7/10 ETA: Had to change out the Alucard pic because the original one no longer existed on DeviantArt.

Dragon*Con summary

2009-09-29T03:35:00.006-05:00

I’m way late with this, but it turns out I took well over three hundred pictures at D*Con and it took a lot longer than expected to sort and resize them. :)

The convention was a blast. Met a lot of interesting people, attended some wicked events (Rave? Me? Nooo), and saw a lot of truly amazing cosplayers. The high points for me were The Mad Scientists’ Ball, the AMV showing, and the Exploring the Final Taboo writing panel. At the panel I got to meet a lot of authors I respect for the first time in real life, including Kayelle Allen, Kiernan Kelly, and Ally Blue. I also got to meet new-to-me authors Fiona Zedde and Sascha Illyvich.

I’d never had the opportunity to attend a writing panel before, so I was sitting in the audience, avidly taking notes as well as txting Katrina Strauss (who couldn’t attend this year) bits and pieces of the subjects covered. I was surprised as hell when Kayelle Allen spotted me and announced me to the room as “the best M/M writer in the world.” I’m sure the expression on my face was very deer caught in the headlights as I walked to the front of the room and told the audience a little bit about my stuff. A friend of mine told me I sounded calm and collected, but that’s what friends do so I’m unsure.

My favorite moment of the entire convention happened at that panel. When I stood up, Kiernan Kelly pointed to me and yelled “I’ve been looking for that damned hat all weekend!”

I still smile when I think about it.

Aside from that moment, no one spotted the Where’s Rowan hat. I did get to give away most of the prizes, though, so that was a lot of fun.

The entire weekend still feels like one long day, and as such is a bit blurry. The sweet-tea peach vodka I tried for the first time had nothing to do with that at all, I’m sure—oh my god I LOVE Georgia!—but luckily I took tons of pictures. Sharing a few below:

Kratos

***

Dr. Manhattan

***

A bishounen in leather

***

The Question

***

Mmm, Spartans

***

Doctor Who

***

Hatta

Cool, yeah? Those were just some of my favorites. If you'd like to view the public gallery I've created for more of them, click over to my flickr account. There, a lot of the images have captions. It's currently 5am and I *just* finished that project, so it'll be interesting to see if I'm as clever as I thought I was after I've gotten some sleep. lol.

Excerpts, Awards, and Opinions

2009-09-24T15:45:00.004-05:00

I have an excerpt up for One Shot! You can check it out, along with the blurb and other good stuff, on the story's page on my site: http://rowanmcbride.com/stories/oneshot/. Let me know what you think. :)

Lone has a page now for the Recommended Read stickers it has received since its release, as well as the various screencaps I couldn't resist taking because I'm a digital packrat and {sigh} a geek (although, on a totally unrelated note, my geek card has been taken away, upgraded, taken away, and upgraded again several times over the past week, lol). Check out the brand spankin' new awards page at http://rowanmcbride.com/stories/lone/lone_awards.html.

Thank you to everyone who's read Lone. It's had an amazing response and it was a pleasure building an awards page for it.

I'm holding a poll on my Yahoo!Group (the platform I use for my newsletter) regarding Want Me. You have to sign up for the mailing list to vote, but it's a very low traffic list (news only, my record being five updates in one month) and you can always set your preferences to "no mail." Whatever option you decide, I'd appreciate your input. The link to my newsletter is: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rowan_mcbride and the direct link to the poll is: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rowan_mcbride/polls.

I think that's it! I had a fab time at Dragon*Con. I'm planning on posting a more detailed update regarding the convention (plus pics!) on this blog in the next few days. W00t!

Where's Rowan? (Dragon*Con '09 Edition)

2009-08-30T03:59:00.005-05:00

It's the return of the hat! Yeah!

Like it? Made it m'self—It's based on Urahara's bucket hat, and the first place I ever wore it for this game was an anime convention called Katsucon.

Been a very, very long time since we've played Where's Rowan. I think I was somewhat disheartened by the fact that no one ever found me, but really that's no reason to stop playing, right? So at this year's Dragon*Con (http://www.dragoncon.org/), it's going to be be game on once again.

The rules are pretty much the same as that time. If you'll be in the Atlanta area (specifically Dragon*Con, since it's highly unlikely that I'll be leaving the convention) over Labor Day weekend (September 4th - 7th, 2009), and you see someone wearing this hat—

—Then walk up to that person and ask, "Are you Rowan McBride?"

If it is me, I'll flash you a big goofy grin and give you a prize. Now, the prizes are a little different this time around, so listing them below:

8x10 print of my Boy Meets Bishie logo, designed by the fab Anne Cain.
Autographed copy of Want Me.
Your choice of any one of my ebooks that are currently available (to be delivered via email after I get home from the convention).
An update to the serial of your choice. (Apparently waiting for new installments is torture for some people. Who knew?) A list of most of the serials can be found here. However, if you want, you can also request Michael Finally Grows Up.

Last we played, that hat was on my head the ENTIRE TIME. This round, it'll either be on my head, or hooked to the back of my laptop bag, so you'll really need to keep an eye out. I know, the game actually sounds harder, but there is one big advantage.

I'll be tweeting my locations in real time. My page is located at http://twitter.com/RowanMcBride. Follow me (easiest) or check in frequently at the page (effective, if you're dedicated).

Got all that? Sounds like fun, yeah? I would really, really like to be found this year, so let's the flash that hat one more time:

If you know people who dig my stories, tell them it's game on. Let's play!

Things that keep writers up at night.

2009-08-25T17:37:00.005-05:00

I go through a lot of revisions. Before even submitting a story to a publisher, it’s quite possible that I’ve combed through it at least ten times before sending it in. This does not include the rather complex system of beta readers I have, each with their specific purpose in vetting my story. Does the concept make sense? How are the characters? Does everyone remember to take their shoes off with the rest of their clothes during sex? Did I use that semicolon correctly?

Overkill. I know this.

Yet there are still errors.

My editors at all my publishing houses are excellent. They find stuff that no one before them found. They spot plot holes I hadn’t even considered. I may grumble and grouse about how they want me to butcher my work of art, but after the first few minutes I get over it because they’re usually right. I make those edits. I start to feel good. Comfortable, even.

Yet…

Below are two short passages from two different novels. Non spoiler, but both containing pretty horrifying typos. Typos that were caught in the late stages of editing--in the case of Lone, the final pass before the manuscript was set to go to the printers.

From Lone:

He grinned and walked around to the side of the house, where an older man was shopping wood. He had the same Dirisio jet-black hair, with shocks of white at his temples.

Should have been:

He grinned and walked around to the side of the house, where an older man was chopping wood. He had the same Dirisio jet-black hair, with shocks of white at his temples.

From One Shot my upcoming novella:

Riley touched our noses together. “And, for the record, I don’t think you’re sexier than me.”

Should have been:

Riley touched our noses together. “And, for the record, I don’t think I’m sexier than you.”

Two TOTALLY different meanings there, gaw.

Now, let me just say that I like to think of myself as pretty good at catching my own mistakes. I know my beta readers rock, and my editors are amazing. Still, though it was no one’s fault, the above errors were a last minute catch, and every time something like that happens I ask myself compulsively “What if we hadn’t…?”

Which, of course, inevitably leads to “I wonder what else we didn’t…?”

And suddenly I’m staring up at my ceiling fan at four in the morning.

Part of being a writer is letting your cherished story go. For me, “letting go” means not looking at the book months (if not a full year) after it’s out there. Even now I suspect there’s a spelling error in Lone but I refuse to look. At this point there’s nothing I can do about it and who needs the stress?

By the time a story of mine goes to publication, I’m so sick at the mere mention of the title that my stomach twists. But eventually I always go back, read through it again. I can honestly say that even though I sometimes cringe at a turn of phrase or grammar error, I’ve never been ashamed of any of my stories. Now that I’ve gone through this process with five releases, it’s a comforting thought, despite my tendency to freak out.

So that’s one of the things that keeps me up at night. I’d wager I’m not the only writer out there who goes through it. As usual, there’s no real point to this post. Just thought I’d share that a part of me lives in a constant state of fear. :)

"One Shot" has a cover!

2009-08-21T18:25:00.004-05:00

The art was done by P.L. Nunn. :)

Feed the Fetish – Megane

2009-08-07T17:16:00.007-05:00

I must admit, I do have a thing for guys with glasses. I associate the look with intelligence, even though there’s no actual correlation between the two (I should know—I wear glasses and there are days I’m as dumb as a brick). At any rate, smart is sexy.

And let’s not forget the anime/manga factor. There, if you have a bishie wearing glasses, chances are he’s pure sadistic seme when he takes them off, and I live for that moment. In western pop culture, the nearest thing I can liken it to is the Superman/Clark Kent example. Everyone knows that Clark is a mild mannered reporter, but a crime-fighting ass-kicking reporter-macking super hero when he takes his glasses off.

So, without further ado, here are a few hot guys with glasses:

Karasu remains a good guy (more or less) whether he's wearing his glasses or not. When he takes them off he sprouts wings and kicks ass, so hawt.

***

Haruhiko - Is Frikking Here by ~TheRedLightning on deviant ART

I don't think I've seen Haruhiko from Junjo Romantica take off his glasses yet, but I have a feeling that the day he does is going to be a good day.

***

CHARLEY by *Ecthelian on deviant ART

Charley, from Vassalord. Vampire. Cyborg. Works for the Vatican. The glasses are just icing, really. :)

***

Kyoya by *poisondanny on deviant ART

Mmm. Kyouya. Shadow king from the Ouran High School Host Club. He's definitely a sadistic seme when the glasses come off. :)

Houseguests, anime, liquor, and…oh yeah. That writing thing I do.

2009-07-30T02:02:00.003-05:00

One of my best friends is driving up on Monday and will be staying with me for two or three weeks, at which point I will be driving down with them to Florida and staying for roughly the same amount of time. Somewhere in there I’ll also be taking a side trip to Atlanta for Dragon*Con, where I fully intend to stalk Michael Biehn, who has the best death scenes ever. I assume the non-Dragon*Con days/nights (hell, probably a good percentage of those, too) will be filled with anime and liquor, because this is our way. We call it Drunken Anime Night, but it often spans a lot more than one night.

In the middle of this debauchery (hmm, is that the appropriate word? Yeah, let’s go with that), I’ll be receiving, working on, and returning the revisions for One Shot. It should be interesting since I’ve managed to bust up my wrist a bit, and I’m supposed to be going easy on the typing. You can see how well that’s working out. :)

At Dragon*Con, I’ll be breaking out the “Where’s Rowan?” hat, and it’ll be game on for hide-and-seek. Official rules will be posted later, but they’re similar to the previous set, which you can read here. One addition to the game is that I think I’ll be able to let everyone know my location in real time via my twitter account, so that should be fun.

Basically, the next six weeks or so will be the busiest I’ve had all year as I balance fun, work, and writing (which is a beautiful combination of both). Hopefully the Fates will be kind and gift me with more fun than work since I’d had it in my head to take a vacation in my last rambling. So Wish me luck! And caffeine!

Let’s get ready to ramble.

2009-07-23T00:51:00.008-05:00

Yeah, that New Year’s resolution I made to come up with better blog titles? Not happening.

Last week I participated in an M/M writing workshop at Romance Divas for the Not Going to Conference Conference. I have to admit, I was nervous. I’m still at that stage where I believe 80% of writing is magic, so I was unsure whether I had anything constructive to offer. But as we settled into a groove, I found I had tips to share on characterization, point of view, and even writing sex scenes. Working with the other authors was a lot of fun, and even though I was one of the writers giving the workshop, I also learned a lot.

I also popped in on other workshops. Sasha White’s “Coping With Burnout” thread turned out to be a godsend for me because I was rocketing in that direction. Truth is, I’ve been feeling off my game lately and spending a week talking about writing really helped. Now I’m going to try and take things a little easier for a while, as well as write some stories for fun. And not feel like a slacker when I watch other writers do their thing. Very important.

In keeping with my whole relaxation theme, I finally got to read volumes five and six of Totally Captivated! LOVE it. Recommend and was sad to see it end:

The second quarter stats are in for Lone, and it turns out I made the top ten list at Amber Allure:

1) Allergies by T. A. Chase (Gay/Werewolf)
2) Lone by Rowan McBride (Gay/Werewolf)
3) Satisfaction by M. L. Rhodes (Gay/Contemporary)
4) Bottom's Up: Kinky Orgasm by Amanda Young (Gay/Contemporary)
5) Most Likely To Succeed by Shawn Lane (Gay/Contemporary)
6) David's Dilemma by Lynn Lorenz (Gay/Contemporary)
7) Bring The Heat by M. L. Rhodes (Gay/Contemporary)
8) Car Wash by Shawn Lane (Gay/Contemporary)
9) Carey'd Away by J. M. Snyder (Gay/Contemporary)
10) Betrayed by Cassie Stevens (Gay/Contemporary)

How cool is it that the top two slots are filled with werewolf stories?

Jumping to another subject (this is a ramble, after all), if you’re like me and enjoy bishies and muscle, please check out Yayoi Neko’s art at http://thundertori.deviantart.com/. I love the way she combines power and beauty in her work.

In totally random fun, Katrina Strauss has posted a vid from a Japanese game show on her blog: Bloggin' it with Katrina Strauss. As a result, I’m currently trying to find a way to work the term “acrylic kiss” into a story. Lol.

I feel like an amazing amount of stuff has happened over the past two weeks. Of course, when I start to write it all down, it starts to get fuzzy. Hopefully, if I remember more, and it’s interesting enough to write about, I’ll think of a better blog title. :)

Workshops and new chapters.

2009-07-15T03:30:00.006-05:00

It's currently 3am and I do believe the first day of the Romance Divas NGTCC "ENOUGH TO MAKE A GROWN MAN CRY. Characterization, Motivation, and POV in M/M fiction" workshop went very well. Josh Lanyon really kicked things off with a discussion on Point of View, I got to share some thoughts on storyboarding, Shayla Kersten shared excellent insights on GMC (Goal, Motivation, Conflict), and Jet Mykles gave great advice on how to flesh out a character.

Lots to build on for the coming week, and I'm excited to see where it goes. If you'd like check it out, it's all online and free at http://forums.romancedivas.com//index.php?showtopic=53543. If you haven't registered already, please see the previous blog post on how to go about getting access to the steamy section.

***

Been tinkering with my website. Trying to make the Serials section more reader friendly, so I've posted Kismeta parts 1 & 2 directly on the site (no more having to click over/register at Evolution Forum to read it) and am considering doing something similar with my other online floaters. For now, the other serials have been labeled to clearly mark where they're posted *before* you click, and I switched the links of Jonah's Giant over to Coiled Fist because CF doesn't require registration to read stories.

I've also posted chapter 7 of Michael Finally Grows Up. As always, you can catch that one directly on my site. :)

Workshop Reminder!

2009-07-12T22:08:00.003-05:00

"ENOUGH TO MAKE A GROWN MAN CRY. Characterization, Motivation, and POV in M/M fiction." (A Romance Divas NGTCC online workshop)

July 14th to July 18th

Josh Lanyon kicks things off the 14th with Rowan McBride, Jet Mykles, and Shayla Kersten.

Location: http://forums.romancedivas.com/.

Registration and Workshops are free.

Workshop will be located in the "Steamy Section" of the forum, so once you register, contact admin and let them know you're 18 or over (or go to http://forums.romancedivas.com//index.php?showtopic=1237)

***

Wow, time for a belated happy dance. :)

2009-06-30T19:21:00.003-05:00

I’m way late in sharing this, but for the month of May I was on the Amber Allure best seller list:

What's Hot?
May 2009
Best Sellers!

1. Lone
- Rowan McBride
(Gay / Werewolf)

2. David's Dilemma
- Lynn Lorenz
(Gay / Contemporary)

3. Bottom's Up:
A Kinky Orgasm
- Amanda Young
(Gay / Contemporary)

4. 629 Miles To Love
- Fae Sutherland &
Marguerite Labbe
(Gay / Contemporary)

5. Tangled Web
- Cassie Stevens
(Gay / Suspense)

6. Satisfaction
- M. L. Rhodes
(Gay / Contemporary)

7. Sins Of Arrogance
- India Harper
(Gay / Suspense)

8. NEG UB2
- Rick R. Reed
(Gay / Contemporary)

9. Bounty Of The Heart
- J. M. Snyder
(Gay / Historical)

10. Playing The Field:
Play On
- J. M. Snyder
(Gay / Contemporary)

I’m siked and honored to be at number one. You guys rock.

Lone also made it as high as the number four slot on All Romance eBooks. I took screencaps of both, and will be putting those up on my website as soon as I get a chance, because I’m a geek that way. Sigh.

Cherry on top? Received a review from Fallen Angel Reviews a few days ago. They gave Lone a Recommended Read. :)

All this warrants a happy dance, right? I think so too:

Michael's back!

2009-06-26T23:55:00.003-05:00

So apparently it's been roughly two years since I've updated Michael Finally Grows Up . I'm not sure how it happened, because I love that story. It's had an interesting resurgence in popularity recently, as I've been getting emails with subject headers like "When DOES Michael finally grow up?" and "Michael's stunted growth."

Fun, right? I hadn't even realized that the story had fans, and truthfully I'd been thinking about it a lot lately. With Lone published at Amber Allure and One Shot accepted by Loose Id, I had a little bit of free time and decided to use it visiting Michael and Avery.

I forgot how great those two are together. Michael's changing, and Avery's mixed feelings are making his behavior sporadic and fun to watch (for me, anyway. I'm told I torture my characters a bit). Chapter six turned out quite long, so I ended up breaking it into two pieces. Six is up now at http://www.rowanmcbride.com/stories/mfgu/ and chapter seven will be up once I'm finished cleaning up the rough draft. I hope you like the new installments. Let me know. :)

Book Giveaway!

2009-06-24T21:16:00.006-05:00

I just got my author copies (print) of "Lone" and I've decided to give one away this Saturday via my mailing list. To enter the drawing, just sign up at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rowan_mcbride/. If you're already a member of the list, no worries. You're automatically entered. ;)

Jennifer Crusie is a great writer. Crap.

2009-06-11T16:57:00.003-05:00

One of the drawbacks of being a writer is that you’re never again able to read for the pure fun of it. No matter the book, a part of you will analyze sentence structure, character growth, plot development. Chances are pretty good that you’ll get sidetracked once or twice with how you would have turned that phrase or twisted that plot. Inevitably, you compare your writing skills to theirs and try to figure out how you measure up.

How much time you spend doing the above varies with the book. Some books you never really take off the writer’s hat.

But some books? Pure magic. You don’t notice the writing because you’re transported, and suddenly you’re honestly caring about the characters, laughing with them, getting angry on their behalves. Then suddenly you realize what’s happened and you flip back a couple of pages and attempt to figure out how they did that.

This usually results in massive writer’s envy, and yeah, I feel it. A lot.

The most recent book to turn me green (in a good way, as I happen to look fair to decent in green) is Jennifer Crusie’s Bet Me. Even though I don’t read a lot of M/F romance, I picked this one up after catching a recommendation for it at Jen’s Den.

My first reaction was that this was the most hilarious thing I’d read in ages.

My second was a liking for Minerva, one of the main characters, because she was an actuary and tended to break a lot of things down into stats. I had just finished the rough draft for One Shot, and my character Nick is a numbers guy, so I felt like he suddenly had a sister. Sort of. Okay not really.

Then came a few moments of uneasiness. What if Crusie’s numbers gal was more interesting than my numbers guy?

Note: While I fully realize that there is no comparing the two stories—different characters, different plots, different tones, different styles, different genres AND subgenres—this in no way alleviates the uneasiness. Such is the nature of writer’s envy.

And finally, because Bet Me IS such a great book, I slid right back into enjoyment. It had been a while since I read a story that made me laugh out loud. Even when you’re green, you gotta appreciate that.

So am I still a little insecure when I compare myself to Crusie? You bet. But that’s a good thing. If I thought I was the best, how the hell would I ever get better? The trick is to not let those insecurities freeze me up. I learn from other writers, but I don’t discount what’s enjoyable about MY writing. Also, I’ve learned to celebrate the good news when it comes my way.

For instance, One Shot being accepted by Loose Id.

Yep, that really happened. How cool am I? ;)

Feed the Fetish - Strength

2009-06-07T00:01:00.002-05:00

I am so sorry! Totally missed that this past Friday was *Fetish Friday.*

Without further ado, here's this month's Feed the Fetish--

I'm a sucker for a good strength feat. And given there are days when I can barely crack a walnut with a nutcracker, watching this guy makes me very happy:

I'm not so great at teh drawing.

2009-05-26T01:47:00.006-05:00

But I'm learning, and that's what counts, yeah?

According to DeviantArt, I've been a member of the site for two years. I joined because I wanted to teach myself how to draw (something other than stick figures in compromising positions) and I wanted to keep an art journal of sorts tracking my progress. Currently, I'm around 200 hits away from reaching 10,000 views, which surprises the hell out of me. Usually when I draw something new, I post the direct link to the picture--bypassing the front page. Reaching 10k views there means people are actually interested in what I'm doing. Who would have thought?

I think I've improved a bit over the years, and I'm just now finally getting to the point where I'm edging away from my favorite head angle. Most of my drawings still require source pictures, but I've managed a few original characters here and there.

I figured I'd share a few of my pics here. Starting with the very first one. :)

1st try by ~rpm77 on deviant ART
Man, I *still* cringe looking at this. I very nearly chucked the whole idea of learning to draw.

***

Gaara 2 by ~rpm77 on deviant ART
Gaara. One of my favorite characters of all time. I'm actually thinking of drawing him again. :)

***

Akabane 1 by ~rpm77 on deviant ART
Akabane. It's all about the hat.

***

HG 1 - line art by ~rpm77 on deviant ART
Mmm. Muscle.

***

Lelouch 1 - Shading by ~rpm77 on deviant ART
This is still my favorite picture out of all I've done.

***

Mookyul - shaded by ~rpm77 on deviant ART
Clothing folds! I was so proud.

***

Viral Red by ~rpm77 on deviant ART
A bit of anger.

***

Colors by ~rpm77 on deviant ART
A bit of angst.

***

Hand of Destiny - Line Art by ~rpm77 on deviant ART
Hand practice.

***

Audrick's face - inked by ~rpm77 on deviant ART
A character from my royal alien rock star yaoi. :)

***

Sketch - Kamui 1 by ~rpm77 on deviant ART
And Kamui. Was stressed out and basically chucked all my responsibilities so I could draw him and relax.

***

So that's a peek at the progress I've made, such as it is. If you'd like to see more of my stuff, you can at http://rpm77.deviantart.com/ . I'm also giving away a prize if you can screencap my front page when it hits the 10,000 views mark. More information on that is listed on the page. :)

PS-- I apologize for the number of images in this post. Usually I try to go light on the pictures, but in this case I just couldn't help myself.

Memorial Day weekend chat

2009-05-22T00:59:00.005-05:00

I'll be participating in a multi-author chat this Memorial Day weekend at Literary Nymphs. A massive list of authors are going to attend, which should make the whole thing crazy and fun. If you jump into the chaos and happen to spot me, wave!

Also, if you do sign up for the group, you might want to set your membership to "web only." These events can easily top a thousand messages in 48 hours, and that's a helluva thing to find in your inbox.

Posting the official announcement below:

Thinking that Memorial Day weekend is going to be a drag, with nothing to do? Have we got a treat for you!! Literary Nymphs is hosting a 3 day M/M chat!! Yep, that’s correct – I didn’t type it wrong! 3 fun-filled days with some of your favorite M/M authors, starting Saturday, May 23!! Is your favorite author on our list?

Just a sampling of the authors on tap: Maura Anderson, Mickie B. Ashling, Victor J. Banis, Jeanne Barrack, Laura Baumbach, Alex Beecroft, Lee Benoit, Mychael Black, Ally Blue, TC Blue, Pat Brown, James Buchanan, J.M. Colail, Jason Edding, Erastes, Catt Ford, Christine France, Kimberly Gardner, Cassandra Gold , Amber Green, Andrew Grey, Kate Hill, Jan Irving, Winnie Jerome, Ali Katz, K.C. Kendricks, Sean Kennedy, Shayla Kersten, Marguerite Labbe, Lynn Lorenz, Viki Lyn, JB McDonald, Rowan McBride, Syd McGinley, Z.A. Maxfield, Chrissy Munder, Jet Mykles, Deirdre O'Dare, Elle Parker, Zathryn Priest, Luisa Prieto, Isabelle Rowan, Lee Rowan, Cassidy Ryan, John Simpson, Jenna Hilary Sinclair, Joely Skye, K.Z. Snow, Jaxx Steele, Kate Steele, Katrina Strauss, Ariel Tachna, Julia Talbot, Carolina Valdez, Jaye Valentine & Reno MacLeod, Stevie Woods, Amanda Young and who knows who else will show up!!!

When? Saturday May 23 – Monday May 25, 2009
Where? http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LiteraryNymphsChat/

Don’t miss out – see you then!

Lone reviews!

2009-05-21T23:44:00.005-05:00

Been getting reviews from Lone. Responses have been interesting:

Elisa cried.

Emerald Jaguar hated Seth.

I’m not sure whether Critter Nymph actually shed tears or not, but the reviewer recommended a box of tissues.

All in all, the responses have been good. A special thanks to all the readers who dropped me a note once they’d finished the book. I’m always a wreck right after a book release, and hearing from you guys definitely relieved a lot of that stress. :)

*****

PS-- The print edition of Lone is now available. You can pick up both editions at Amber Allure.

Writing as Therapy

2009-05-14T03:21:00.003-05:00

I’m not one to hash out personal problems with writing. When I was a kid I kept a journal off and on, and one sporadically in college and law school. That was as close as I ever got to consciously trying to work my issues out on paper. When I write fiction, it’s usually to escape, and to get myself an HEA (Happily Ever After).

A few weeks ago, my mom officially became a five-year survivor of cancer. As the doc told us that five years is usually the magic number for cancer patients, and that chances of recurrence were now much, much lower, I released a breath I’d apparently been holding for half a decade. I was so grateful I didn’t even put up a fight when she asked to watch Twilight as her celebration present.

With any luck, we shall never again speak of sparkly vampires in this blog.

But it was a very good day. And since then, the loss of that subtle bit of tension has relaxed me in a dozen different little ways, and I've been remembering a few snippets here and there from when she was first diagnosed.

One of those snippets was a story I’d started called The Companion. If you’ve been following me since I started writing on the Evolution Forum, you might remember the blurb I used to have for it on my website. It was labeled as an “in progress” story and I was ticking along with it, sure that it was going to be done in short order. Then my mom got sick and I dropped it. After a few months I even took its description off my site.

Alexander, one of the main characters in the story, had a grandfather who died of cancer. Taking care of the person who raised him shaped a huge part of his personality, and he’d wake up in cold sweats remembering. In the end I just couldn’t deal. Hit too close to home for me. Unlike a lot of other writers out there, I just wasn’t strong enough to delve that deeply into my own feelings and experiences.

Or so I thought.

In the last week, as I looked at the books I already have out, I realized I’d been doing exactly that.

Take Chasing Winter, for instance. In the beginning of that novel, Jesse is fun and full of life. Then he’s crippled by an accident and his entire view of the world changes. He’s cold, bitter. It takes him a long time to learn to live again.

I’ve never been hurt physically like Jesse, but I did have to drop out of law school due to an illness. In hindsight I see that law school wasn’t for me anyway, and not because I couldn't hack it--my grades were good and I would have made a fair to decent lawyer. But I sure as hell felt broken in the aftermath of me leaving.

In Want Me, Joel’s secure life is turned upside down, and even though it’s a wrenching journey, he finds talents inside himself he didn’t know he had. I’ve been there. Although without a crazy ass hottie trying to seduce me at every turn, which was probably a good thing. Probably.

Lone, my newly released werewolf novel, features a character who’s dealing with someone close to him finding out who he really is. That’s happened to me. I’ve been in the other person’s shoes, too, having to absorb that someone wasn’t who I’d believed, and then having to decide if the “new” person was still the person I cared for.

Even though I don’t dive into a story intending to tackle a deep-seeded personal issue, I do go in with the intent of making my characters as real as possible. Realistic responses to stress, believable emotions, etc. In order to achieve that, sometimes I have to take a good hard look at personal experiences I’d much rather forget. As far as the story goes, such introspection is totally worth it. Everyone knows what it feels like to be rejected. Everyone knows how it feels to want something so badly it twists your stomach into knots. Everyone knows what it feels like to be alone.

In that way, every writer has a connection to their readers. It’s all about building a believable bridge from the story to those basic emotions.

If I get a bit of a catharsis while doing it, bonus. If a light bulb happens to go off in my head and makes me go “Ahh, I get it now,” even better. But it’s not something I go hunting for, and I can say from experience that most of the time that little light doesn’t even flicker until I’m re-reading the story years later.

But I figure it must help, even if I’m not aware. Maybe in some little way it makes me stronger, and the stronger I am, the more passion I can embrace. The more passion I can embrace, the better everything around me becomes.

Huh, sorta like Ace and Spade. I just realized that.

Lone is on sale!

2009-05-03T14:02:00.005-05:00

Blurb:

Seth Anderson has finally found sanctuary in Brier, Iowa. Even better, he's found Rafe: a strong, giant of a man who owns the town pool hall. Seth has never been so close to anyone. When he's asked to give a series of lectures in DC, it seems only natural that Rafe come along. But in a few surreal days, his true nature is exposed and he brings both their lives crashing down around them.

Because Seth is not only a werewolf; he's also something much, much worse.

Available now at:
Amber Allure (http://www.amberquill.com/AmberAllure/Lone.html)

W00t!